Rampant Polemic


Dream Compilation
September 17, 2009, 1:14 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

SHARKS

DreamDream

Dreamt I was in this gigantic pool (or sectored-off ocean) like the one in Deep Blue Sea, but with underwater columns and fences and barriers. Ther ewas this massive megaladon shark that kep trying to eat me and this other person. We swam through the columns to avoid it and to the other side of the tank/pool. Eventually I found this harpoon spear that cooul extend a little prong after it punctured through the shark so that it would creat a clamp and couldn’t’ open its mouth. I think I shoved that in it, and then I thought it could get killed in this gigantic underwater smashing device with two vertical wall-smashers that have spikes that would completely close vertically, smashing the shark’s torso to thin paper or severing is tail and head in two.

04/05/2003 Friday

8 miles 32 B (ate three full meals at rastall)

I dreamdt Ms. Murray was telling me my grade and that I had failed art history, but it wasn’t art history it was drama,

She said she minored in Drama, and insinuated that I should

I kid with RV came up and tapped me on the head

and we were now in a coffee shop

I ran after him

and kicked the crap out of him

I kept kicking him on the floor nonstop. Then everyonehelped him up

6/??/03

Dream Journal

wierd dream. Was on some pivotting myst-boat thing with a bell and a rotator on water, I took the rope off the bell, and then someone came on the rotator thing, and got the rope out of my pants. They starte to chainsaw somethign and almost cut me, so I ran off the boat-thing screaming, and ran to a house where walter and pat were, looking for nicky. – reminded me of working near haphazard construction area.

07/23/03

Well, crazy hectic day. Got 15 hours of sleep lastnight!! 5-8. Dreamt about killing my rat by putting it in a bag and dumping rice and food on it (or losing it). Also, I dreamdt that Brecht, now-looking fat/overwieght and my dad, and me met for a dinner/party and joked, and my dad even made fun of his “actorship”. Also, thought this represented the death of brech (AWESOME, and not deifying him), and moving on to respecting mrs. Erdall, hopefully! Feel good. Did hour of rat training, did neuroanatomy lab and TOUCHED THE BRAIN HUMAN! Then saw Matt, Andrea in Career center, changed gold card t o$390, saw RV, thinking about doing computer deal at armstrong, called ruggs, checked out library (boring), and shove (it’s SO nice having a computer that is in peace and is mine to work on!!). Well, going to study more, hopefully get a run in and get things going — so busy out here!!! So So much mroe than at the LSE because of Career Center, Gold Cards, and an actual CAMPUS!! To see, meet, and do things!! So many cool choices of thigns to do — armstrong, computer guys, get paid and have fun and do somethings productively, which Iwould be doing anyways, and then get paid for them!! Whoo-whoo! And get resume acknowledgement, that’s the thing — I want to do things for resume acknowledgement, because I am normally productive — so why not get credit for them! oOVer out!! Rock on! I realize that I am enjoying this class so much, because, not only because I really enjoy neuroanatomy/psyhcology, but b/c I am in the hands of a VERY organized teacher, so my learning is organized and productive.

7/30/03

Wierd dream– bike to Danya Sherman’s house, almost got run over (really dangerous) and hit by purple? car. Got there, and talked to her while watching some disney movie — all odgs go to heaven?? She said she had been taking martial arts at some dojo, and solme other person (mike l/tom fort) showed up, while I helped myself to bread? i nthe kitchern. wierdo!!

08/31/03

My Dorm Room 430

Man, I still cannot believe how incredible spending time with Taylor was! I still cannot believe how raunchy we were, how unrestrained, how dream-like everything was, and how alive it felt! We had sex doggystyle! I cannot believe that, Amazing. Totally amazing out of some porno book. That made me start to think that life really CAN be whatever you want as an open book — it just forms to what you like/dislike. Well, I am so incredibly overwhelmed by how much cc offers, I am almost suffocated and suppressed by it! I am so happy about my box situation, too. Truly awesome. Well am going to call home, shower, computer, then food!! Totally starving!

10/10/03

Wow, really wierd dream. I dreamdt that Eva Sosnowska came to live with me and my family and she was all over me. This is my 9th night or something dry, the pill really seams to be working!

11/16/03

Okay, wierd dream: I was going to go swimming, even though casey told me not to. But I didn’t because I had to many books and junk in my backpack to worry about (if it would get stolen or not).

I had the martial arts test yesterday and got purple belt (5th kyu) even though I was going for 3rd kyu(brown). It was cool because michelle got 3rd and I am two belts under her anyway. I came back, ate chinese, ran, went to hobbit, watched identity, went to jungle boogie, had sex with zoe. Really, really frickin’ sore after sex and martial arts1!! My lats,lower legs, everything! I really want to try to get good grades — valedictorian-style like robin. He is a very cool guy. It was wierd that people asked me if I knew robin and casey — they’re good guys.

11/26/03

Wow wierd dream. I dreamt that Dr. Shultz or sorchett, pretty sure shultz, was making watch these movie segments of penelope cruz (or maya?) and label them as “pretty”, “attractive”, “sexy”, etc. I couldn’t figure out the labels he wanted for each picture so he told to me to ask myself to label the pictures based on where they were in the movie. Then I dreamt about this mexican guy who put some wierd gel all over himself that semi-prevented sharks from biting him, then he went into shark-infested waters and got bites all over his achilles. Someone, I think professor Montano or Shultz went in and pulled him onto a boat, or sub.

11/07/04

Dreams: Dreamt that Tim Fuller was in People magazine, the Dream emphasized how the article was written by some guy named Tom Kahn, and it talked about how he was finding a girlfriend. Lief carter said in the back ground, “A life of politics is a full episode”, or something

02/05/07

Dream: was in this hardware store where james and I were made to karkate punch or kick thomas, but if we accidentally hit hijm, one of the workers there kicked thomas in the head and then us. Thomas’ head started bleeding and he was crying, and I wanted t okill the workers, but they puled a knife, we left our toolbox there and left without beating them u, and I was cupping thomas’ bleeding forehead.

Dream on night of April 9, 2005

Dreamt I was wearing these neck collars that were buzzers or pisioner things that we all took off then put back on and threw away because they were a symbol of freedom. Matt Birnbaum, I think george Clooney, I think Katherine (neighbor), and a bunch of other close friends were their in this pool area with an outside area. It ended withme packing up my bag while everyone else was swimming and secretly keeping my neckband (symbol of freedom) and then everyone else changed as I was leaving the locker room and we all waited with our luggage in some main underground area and my friends were there (I put my green cosmetics case in a black duffle). There was so old rabbi chanting. We were definitely about to do something probably illegal, bold, and righteous (stealing from rich to give to poor), but not sure what it was. Wild dream!

Nap Dream April 9, 2005

Dreamt that mom, Thomas, james, and I were driving and more drove the car (a kind of race car/rental car) off this edge and it did one of those free-falling slow-mo diving things, tipped forward and crashed into a building. None of us were hurt but we met all of these other people who crashed their cars in a some waiting room afterwards, too.

** The falling feeling was exactly like the dream when uncle dean and I flew off the bridge on bikes, but this wasn’t as scary because we didn’t land in water (almost drowning).

April 12, 2005

Totally awesome alive day.

Class 9-12. Ran 12-1:45 ( had to take dump at walmart). Swam 2-2:30 1000m, ate lunch of apple, sandwich,milk. Biked 3:30-4:30. Saw Christen and Cameron and Taylor’s house. Changed got Rastall, went to mathias saw Kendra and wandered around from 5:30 – 7:00. Library from 7:00-8:00. 8:00-10:00. cleaned room, wrote e-mails. Showered, now off to bed! Jesse seemed to have anger at him, and is certainly an exceptional conversationalist. He talked about vocational direction and survival, but I disagreed with him on numerous topics – drugs, etc.

Dream: dreamt change Thomas and I were rafting down the santia, or some river, I fell luckilyu got back on after cutting my leg, then Thomas got seperaetd from change, but change found him and saved him. THE DOCtor had to give me some “knock out pill”, but I really didn’t have many wounds, and thmoas had the same. Then I met Martha stanley’s mom, introduced by my mom.

April13. 2005

1 mile run, 1000m, 1 mile run, 15* bikeride.

Dream: James Thomas and I exchanged gifts. One was some Lord of the rings beginning book in bible format before Michigan or new years or something . we mwoke mom up as Thomas told her about the gifts (it was similar to the sandwich shop one with just me and bros). other details but hard to remember.wow, really frickin’ tired, jeez. Exhausted, but hopefully will get some sleep, then nkiwan’es later on. I needed to borrow money from dad to buy the highest goal book which I gave james as a gift and he pulled out 5 or 6 huge wads of money all organized by “belt clips”, which were really flolwer clips.

April 14, 2005

1 mile run, 1000m swim, 1 mile run, biked past Manitou, up some mini inclines 2:30- 4:00.

Seeing ted and dan Castaneda today reminded me of james and guy, usually it’s dad that ted reminds me of! Went to sleep at 10. read for about 20, lights off at 1030= quality, quality sleep!

DreamDream: Dreamt I was installing some software in some room (Michigan?) but I accidentally took a dump I nmy sleeping bag, so I had to tell mom, james, and Thomas to get out of the room by saying II couldn’t install the software with them watching me and to come back in 3 minutes, then I washed the sleeping bag.

April 15, 2005

DreamDream. Slept from 4am to 2pm and dreamt that I was in some Doom-like fps being chased by christophe (or Thomas) and james, I think. They put a bunch of bombs in some pool and I was on the highest level. I was about to throw in a grenade-bomb to set them all off, but james popped up and I jumped away into the pool, set off the bombs, and got out of the brown-walled pool with clear water (not swimming pool – like a reservoir) just in time, but burnt my leg. They said I’d get cancer of the leg and I ran into the next portal chamber where I didn’t got into the second door “Titanic” or the third door, but the first door, which was something abouet 1287, and some car smash, I think.

April 17, 2005

DreamDream

Dreamt that mom, dad, and myself and some other people attendedsomething like a a teenfreedom class, led by breck. We watched a commercial to prove some point, where the real actors came on stage : george hanson, an older woman, and one other guy. Then we went out in some clearing in the woods surrounding by white column rubble, and dad liked themeeting.

Normal:

I remember that after the teenfreedom course, the Judge took complete control. Blinding me from what was good (parents, Anne L. and Ari and Scott) and had me thoroughly convinced that acting, breck, maya, and chaos was good. That was when the Judge was completely in the driving seat. It was a very scary time.

April 29, 2005

DreamDream

I dreamt that Taylor Carlson came out to visit me at Colorado College and we didn’t really hit it off because of the relationship with the school. I said it was hard for me to breath with my back sore and the elevation and she was like, “Duh”. She wore a purple or black or grey sweater, and I was just drained so we didn’t hit it off very well being in the mountains. We went to the garden of the Gods, but still, it was awkward. Being around the ocean makes me thrive

DreamDream

May 2, 2005 Dream

Dreamt I was rooming with 3-4 other roommates, one of them was Bret Diskin. This heavy-weight guy came in and I started trying to empower him by telling him a story about a teacher who didn’t think highly of himself and, therefore, over-ate to become fat, but a few of the other teachers who had seen him teach always tried to make him realize how incredible he was at teaching. Everyone was reading big-name author books, like Grisham, or something, and stacking them near my bunkbed There was a pick-up soccer game going on and my mom was playing — so was professor Lindau. Lindau showed off some good soccer moves for a few seconds and then didn’t do anything, he tried to talk about this one “environmental policy” paper he wrote, but it was a lame comment. Someone commented to me about how much perseverence, aggressiveness, and resilience my mom played soccer — seriously going after the ball. I was thinking about playing and pictured myself really schooling people, but didn’t play.

Indifference and The Judge

05/10/2005

DreamDream

Dreamt I was in some classroom – felt like elementary schoool – the teacher looked like ben stiller and when he said for al of us to get partners for some test, I bolted over to him and told him I had to leave for my grandmother’s birthday (but I didn’t think it was really there). A girl that reminded me of Erica Brooks kept making fun of the ben stiller clone teacher and it turned out to be a funny class. Weird how in my dreams, I still connect fear of homosexuality to stuff.

05/13/2005

DreamDream

Dreamt I think James and some girl went to go rollerscating at this arcade rollerblade place. The place had people that played video games (actors) that didn’t get distracted when people talked to them. The store where yolu rent rollerblades reminded me of the beach house so I told the owner that. The had enormous shirts hangin from the ceiling I said I already had roller blades and surprised everyone (I was wearing them). Some of the video games (like Street Fighter) were projected on this hgue screen that everyone could see. Then most of the rink was covered with sliding woodwork that had seats for some performance. Casey be walked over and sat in the seats thate were technically “behind” the stage (at about 330°, while james and the other person sat in front. There were seats in 360° of the theater and we waited for the performance to start. Very vivid fun dream.

05/16, 2005

Went to run, had breakfast sat with this girl who saw Richard the Third at the Globe in London and sat behind Alan Rickman (the snape actor) in the theater! It was pretty amazing to connect with that – two summers ago. I still remember vividly fuller and minogue eating ice cream at that performance.

May 22, 2005

DreamDream

Weird dream! I dreamdt that me and about 15 other people got taken to this special room. It was in some huge hotel where everyone else was at tables (like cafeteria tables only fancier) watching some bigscreen TV. In this special room, the guy who knew the owner slid all of these closet doors which led to the secret room where there was a table and a series of one-way mirrors that looked at all the tables. I kept checking out Casey avaunt and noticed that she was kind of insecure the way she moved. Then someone said this was like hunting our prey with the other people not able to see us. The hotel was inherited by someone, but parts of it reminded me of a cruise or CC

Everynight I have slept here in Chicago has been enuresis. Embarassing, annoying and irritating. I obviously hate it here I guess, or something. I hate my dad; he is such a bum and I must stop relating to him from an area of coaching, where he solves my problems, he can’t solve my problems anymore. I could act like he solves them, that could be interesting! Hhhhmm, why not make him feel good. An artificial relationshp is considered a neutral one, which is better than a fighting one, sometimes. Also, if my parents fight just allow that to happen and not make it a concern of mine. I shouldn’t try to help them stay together or get their differences out and move apart. That is not my area. It would be infinitely liberating for me to not be the glue anymore.

May 24, 2005

DreamDream

Really weird one, but funny. I dreamdt mom or someone got two presents – a set of magnetic silverware and a special two-layered cooking pot with a grate built-in to the bottom. I commented it was fun with metal alloys. She told me to get something to cook in the pot and we had a massive bag of clams (in Chicago) and a bunch of yams, so I suggested the yams. Before we were trying to call the Smiths and thank them, but got to simultaneous calls without a button to switch the calls so james (or I, I forget) programmed in how to switch from those two callers. Really weird. Love life to the fullest!

The more connected we illuminate our passions, the more certaint we become as human beings. Acknowledging our strengths allows us to supercede our knowledge and grow infinitely. Love life to the fullest!

Woke up,

Walgreens – medicine for dentist and candy

100 E Walton for dr. block

scotts house

alexa’s house

jimmy’s house

library

supercuts

home

estebans

home depot

kinkos

gap

home

flat-top

home

Just did a ton of writing and realized when my dad came into my room, I hate him. I feel like he downloads shit and my leg swelled up, I hate being around my dad, he is bad energy, a blob, and I havecompassion for him, love him, but me being around him is not happy. Irght now I feel used, charged up with bad energy that I want to expel out of me, feel like I have to put all this time into purging out energy, like my brain isn’t my own, like my body isn’t my own, frustrated. Feel like crap. I hate the way I feel when I am around my dad, but I love my dad. I hate that fuckhead. Damnit. Ask him what he thinks catalyzed that deterioration.

May 27, 2005

DreamDream

AWESOME FUN COOL DREAM

I dreamt James and I went camping and had on this weird canvas overall pants. Some bad guys were camping kind of far away from us. The terrain was rocky, with rough weeds amidst everything. We saw the bad guys off in a distance, and I left our campsite for some reason (to get firewood?) and saw a huge gave that had a mountain lion in it with a fallen tree branch covering the entrance. I ran back to get james and when I showed him the entrance the tree branch was gone, so we knew the mountain lion had gotten out. Then he attacked us and we fought him off with sticks. We both opened up our coats big to scare him off but that didn’t work. After a long fight, eventually we were pretty cut up and I was about to stab a knife in him, when we realized he was licking and cleansing our wounds! He liked us and became our pet. We thought about putting him in a zoo, but didn’t think the captivity would be good for him, so we let him go. Then we watched some weird version of an endless Summer 2 (or three or four?) of these surfer dudes going down a huge natural waterslide/rapids/waterfall in a raft and passing a mountain lion that looked like ours!

Things I want to say to my dad:

Why couldn’t you be more like uncle dean – strong, wise, simple, clear, mainly, what he means he means (no duplicitness)

I dislike how you raised me and James in such a psychologically warped way, obsessed with scaring us with stories and such.

I dislike how the only way I can relate to you is through consulting – where I have a problem and you solve it (endless examples, girls, tooth, getting life back together). This creates a spurious relationship with false problems.

I dislike how you are only comfortable when we james and I afraid of you.

You’re too serious

I just hate being around you, you make me scared, you’re a fat blob of unexpressed emotions who has a terribly uncommunicative relationship with his wife.

June 1, 2005

DreamDream

Vivid dream, Dreamt that tom fort, me, some other people had to stand in this beg concrete throne chair on trial for something with Canada. They read some dialogue paper I wrote (kind of poorly wrote) in higschool or college. Total wierdnesss.

June 20, 2005

DREamDREAM

Dreamt I lived right next door to this chinse (asian) family and visited them a lot, and was convinced that whenever I left the room the chinese father went at it and had sex. I lleft their house when it looked they were leaving (packing things in a briefcase and putting the hat and coat on) but then I woul dcome back and see they might still be there. I neve knew if they were trying to fake me out with the hat and coat, or they really were leaving. I watched some movie that I had seen before with 2 of the asian guys, they were quiiet, wise, and peaceful. I kept wantign to to talkk to hear stuff the family said becaue they were so smart and always had some amazing advice. The movie (I think) was about 9 people taht were paddling from this one shoe to this new island that had just opened up adn they created a wave as they propelled themselves across teh sea/lake with huge enormous strokes. Also, I peed in the garbage can and it overflowed while family was at a play or somethign.$$$ then weoke upa and hat to really really go to bathroom. the water swimming, and then peeing was like a quie to get up and ppe! major proces ffrom enurise!

June 22, 2005

DreamDREAM

Dreamt I was a mother that had just had a kid and wrote about how hard it was to have a kid in a letter. Was in this crazy school where I sabotage it by playing pranks and a lot of people said they left it (it seemed like CC) because they said it was possesed (by devil thing?). Then ama died somehow — some wierd diseae. And someone, yuri maybe?, got someting chopped off frfom this turbien and it seemed like “final destination” b/c people were dying. was thinking about transferrrng. then flashed to when I Was older with the kid thing. Dreamt thomas was going to a different school in the mountains, I think. Maren K was going there, too. I needed to go to a party at matt c’s house, but hadn’t showered yet, so I showered without taking my pants off.

June 23, 2005

DREAMDREAM

Dreamt that my family – mom, dad, myself, (james and Thomas, probably, too) were at some dinner party with some more relatives (smiths) and muppy. We were out on some white outdoor table and breck costing was there talking and eating hor douerve (nuts) everyone was seated and he and muppy were hitting it off. I thought they would make a good couple. Then I dreamt that something else big, forget though.

July 2, 2005

June 2, 2005 202A DREAMDREAM

totally awesome DREAM one of hte best I’ve ever had.

was in chicago with breeze and family and thomas m, kuczmarski was really young. We got trapped in this car that smashed us, with salt or sand on top of it, and thomas had his lips peaking out so he could breath, then I accidentally shifted the sand and he couldn’t so we dug him out, or he burst out or the piles of salt/sand. Breeze said we just needed to get the family to the litt’e “ville” navy pier, and then we ened up in a hotel.

July 11, 2005

DreamDream

Weird drema,s dreamt I was in some fellowship and was gimli or a hobbit maybe; lot’s of scattered dreams. Wierdness.

The more we open our eyes to invigorating certainty, the more focus and ingenuity sprouts from our life. When cling and grasp, we generate problems for ourselves. Open our lifestyle we inspire others, creating leaders out of ourselves. A leader isn’t some one who tells others what to do or shapes people’s lives with rules and bureaucracy – that is a tyrant, an oppressor, the opposite of a leader. John Quincy Adams, the 6th president of the united states eloquently defined true leadership: “If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more, you are a leader”. There is so much veracity in this words and it is tremendously challenging to help inspire others to do more and learn that their dreams can be reality through gentle provocative leadership. True leadership, therefore, is based not around the leader’s strengths, but the strengths of those he leads. When you force or coerce people into doing things for an organized plan you are not leading them. Instead, you are causing them to experience what it is like to be a component of a machine moving towards some specific and external goal. A leader makes every goal reflective of the person who is trying to achieve it so that person instantly finds meaning and certainty in achieving the goal. A bureacrat organizes 50 people to build a church. Some believe in the church and put tremendous detail into its engravings and structure, some are only moderately religious and are indiffierent, and the other extreme are atheists who completely don’t care about their work and may try to sabotage the construction. This is not leadership, but a pathway to disunity and uncertainty. When we provoke others so that everyone has a unique target or goal, allowing them to truly experience happiness and movement towards their ultimate goal, you have encountered leadership. In true leadership there is no such thing as striated, varied forms of commitment – everyone has meaning in their goal and pursues it with passion because they have been inspired by the leader. An important quality of leadership is that it must produce a specific and unique goal for each person because each person has unique dreams, inspirations, and forms of purspose. Creating these variations in others dreams open up doorways towards simplicity and resolution. When you lead through inspiring others, Lao Tzus’ phrase of leadership: “The good leader operates so that when the work is done the people will say ‘we did it ourselves’” becomes clear. The true leadership truly does have people do things themselves; it is not a trick. When the leader usurps the work that is not leadership at all . Love life to the fullest and created a tremendous opening towards change and resolution and certify yoru existence by avoiding personal disparagements and uncertainties, open pathways to your own and to others verisimilitudes and find tremendous faith in honesty, prosperity, and love. True happiness, like leadership, is where you generate the goal and the inspiration yourself. True happiness does not occur based onsomeone else. True happiness is a personalized source of resolution that could have had an impact by some inspiring thigns other people say, but is very much your own. Generate happiness in your own life by engaging int authentic leadership to inspire others, giving them the push to evoke their dreams, ambitions, into reality!

Edmund Hillary, the first person to summit Mount Everest in 1919, said “It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves”. In surmounting and accomplishing a great achievement we prove to ourselves whate we are capable of. Revealing the capacity in others is precisely what the leader’s job is. When a person generates the motivation or the willing or the drive to “get to the top of the mountain” on one’s own in another person, they have assumed the role of a leader and have the potential to immediately put people through experiences that will increase their happiness and freedom. The purpose of generating this hope and motivation and inspiration in others is to create in the individual and collectively peace in the construct of mankind. 14th century, Italian poet, scholar and humorist, Francesco Petrarch said, “Five enemies of peace inhabit with us / avarice, ambition, envy, anger, and pride; if these were to be banished, we should infallibly enjoy perpetual peace”. The leader has the insights and the foreknowledge to help direct people towards inner peace, furthering the possibility of perpetual, infallible, and universal peace for all of us. By dissolving the deteriorating capacity of avarice, excessive ambition, envy, anger, and pride, we move towards this energetic existence. The best way to avoid those five obstacles from inhibiting our peace is to use them as authentic aids by abdicating the power the have over us. Anger, pride, and ambition can make us crazy, obfuscating our logic and generating counterfeit ideas and perceptions, however, they can also be illuminating assets if used correctly. When wield with temperance and control, anger can be motivation. When we channel anger it can become a spark to ignite our intention toward something. Obviously, if it gets out of control it inhibits our peace, but through practice it can be our fuel towards peace. Ambition is the easiest to transform because it interconnects our intentiosn and motivations towards a specific end. Just as long as we don’t become to overwhelmed by this pursuit or consumed by this end, we are safe. Pride can act as a stabilizer, ensuring we incite all of our resources of ourselves. It can also be a form of self-recognition – a vital component of growth in general – just as long as it doesn’t become inflated and have know bearing. Flaunting our accomplishments to other people is destructive, but genuine personal pride can be a very valid form of reinforcement. Avarice causes us to accumulate excess to the point where the process of accumulating – whether the substance is money, stamps, food, etc – becomes a debilitating obsession. The more we liberate our life with certainty and truth, the more happiness we generate from our knowledge and this knowledge is something we can accumulate, but should be something we should not be devoured by. Finally, the fallacious ramifications of envy. When you covet and pry into someone else’s life and become jealous of a quality or item they possess, you only incapacitate yourself because you freeze frame your life into a state of stagnant inadequacy. Transform envy into goal-setting quickly befor remorse and enmity builds against the person. If you see some quality or some item you admire in another person, trust that. Trusting in the appreciation of a goal is the genesis of the greatest goals, from climbing mount everest and breaking the four-minute mile barrier to writing the dictionary. If you let desire wallow and grow, it takes on a life of its own and mutates into envy, which is debilitating. The five impediments to peace, through practice and temperance can easily become key factors in acquiring Petrarch’s perpetual peace. Just remember:

Ambition – don’t grasp goals, but use them as beacons for growth.

Anger – use this powerful intention as fuel to create momentum in pursuits

Avarice – good to generate copious quality

Envy – use the desire to form a goal, not a craving

Pride – use personal pride to stabilize your accomplishments

Let’s try plugging in these five “transformed obstacles to peace” into the real-life example of running to create peace. Set a goal with ambition and try to achieve it, but have low expectations and high attitude, so your ambition doesn’t become overwhelming. When you are frustrated, transform that anger into a sprint and move ahead in the race. When you desire to move up or have envy for someone else’s speed, use that to catch up with them and take a mental note that that is something you want and will achieve later in your training. Use avarice to accumulate quality footsteps and strides, discard accumulations of fame, which is always fleeting, mercurial, and transient. When you are in a well-developed position, use pride to stabilitize your cadence and pace productively. You can use “reformed five”, formerly obstacles for peace, in any situation or scenario. Just remember to trust in your empowerment and capacity to use these devices and aid others in their process, as well.

July 13, 2005

Dreadream 530am

Dreamt I drew all of these slight pictures and met with diffeent people to try to get married. We acted out the lsight picteus (like, meets person in pictures, likes them have ,iod, etc) and eh ones a resonaed most with I was supposed to marry. I went back to city day and talked about missing/making the shot and soe pople mentioned I I was like ryan Spence b/c I made points in b-ball and was a tgtractice, tehn I talked about how I missesome shot and thie rhad been newswpapar lcipping about it and it was agains oem easy school. The clipping said suggested it may habe bben bad luck of someth,g but then mos gradmore said the onlyh bper I had to pllame was my self. The “note cards” had gherern atuer and the people wre read. Wire st udf!

July 14, 2005

DreamDream

Dreamt I kissed Cat C on the lips, but then she and erica got really mad at me because I wasn’t supposed to “for real” (it was just supposed to make someone else jealous). Then I realized I left cookie dough and some things I had started to cook at her house and had to go back. then I dreamt I moved into this place that was white and clean (like Olympic training center). I was in the first floor room right next to the reception/lobby. I was going to walk over to worner center for “orientation” (not sure what for?) and knocked on this study room and Freedom C was on the floor working in solitude (so he wouldn’t get distracted). It was a really cool place and met some RA (chinese guy) who seemed stun to see me. When we shook hands I saw “pomegraneate juice”.

July 21, 2005

DreamDream

I dreamt I was at some camp or school (U of Denver?) and met this circle of people. The emphasis was on the names. A girl named Jeremy is all I remember for sure (Ronald, sam, Rebecca? Have no idea) then they all ran off.

Robin Williams said a very wise quote about the differences and sometimes, conflicting interactiosn between one’s sexual drive and intellectual capacity. He said, “God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time”. Sometimes it truly feels like our sexual drive completely consumes our brain, or that mentally, we are thinking one-sidedly.

American psychologist, lecturer and author, dale Carnegie said, “People rarely

July 22, 2005

DreamDream

Man, whole series of weird dreams last night. Dreamt Robert deniro was a bad guy who was chasing me and this girl. We had him tied up on a bus but he broke out, the bus driver tried to hit him, and then the bus crashed. I survived, the girl lost her entire brain, but “lived”, deniro was in traction, and the busdriver died, I think.

Also had this dream of meeting all these people, too. Really vivid, but I forgot it.

July 25, 2005

Dreamdream

Weird dream: Dreamt that I was in some harry potter book (or was reading it) and it started with harry and ron surfing in this area with sandy moguls, so to paddle outside you had to go over these huge wave hills. Then I ended up in Michigan getting ready for some kind of party, but the atmosphere was really weird. It felt like spring, but it wasn’t normal Michigan. Craziness.

July 31 DreamDream

Crazy Dream. Dreamt I was with these two girls and were in SB house I think (not sure of location) one was wearing a white shirt. They had medium/small boobs, but I ended up sucking on some of them. One of the girl’s boobs had nipples that were an inch long and tasted really weird/gross. Closest thing to a “sex” dream. I was having some monage a trios deal with them and then I ended up doing something else.

Went to uncle dean’s. Showed the home video. Had macaroni pasta salad, sandwiches and peach ice tea (peach ice tea rocked!!!) I talked with sara about teaching degrees and realized teaching is something I’d really like to do! I would want to use a lot of information and connect a lot of it with every field of academia and be in an effective but alternative environment (or a coach carter, type thing would be cool) but that would be something I’d be passionate about and love doing!, then went wakeboarding and inner-tubing. The new flat tub that dean bought was incredible! It was so much fun and it was so hard to stay on and I flew off almost every time after he had a “trial run”. I started laughting so hard I couldn’t breath. It was incredibly awesome!!! I got up on the wakeboard REALLY easily and had some awesome runs even though it was really bumpy and choppy. Then went for a quick 800m run down sarah hill (it was wiered sarah’s clarity reminded me of taylor and that connection was to weird with a cousin, but it was the most I’d talked to sara, I think, in my whole life!) Then showed the dvd to jeff, Daniel, and tyler (tylerr is the cutest thing), he kept saying “buba” for “papa” uncle dean. I realized that joey, sarah, and ryan are uncles and aunts now (now that jeff is a father!). Then had some pie of auntie joanns. Dean and Susan drove me to the airport, told dean about the complimentary thing (should have mentioned NLP) it was awesome. Sat next to a really really smart biologist guy, Howard, who recommended “heart of the sea” about 6 boats that had to paddle from some sunken ship in 150 days or so, about ecology of learning (how learning one smidgen of information interacts and allows you to learn other ares. Like learninag about the ear requires anatomy, physics (acoustics of sound), that physics will require some math, maybe calculus, then you can discuss pyshcology of people who have learning handicaps and how that effects their social life. Then you can expand the “hearing” metaphorically to suggest hearing is based on hearing one’s inner voice (philosophy), then give examples of some people who have used infer voice (English, history, social studies). And you cover all areas of academia with one topic – the ear! Cool stuff. He was a weird guy reminded me of a combination between barry sarchet’s voice, joel ross’s mannerisms, and maybe me (had similar haircut).

Then I sat next to this gardner in a suit, Tino, who hadn’t flown in 10 years and talked about jesus’s teachings and the value of a leader and I trusted the biologist much more even though tino smiled and was really friendly we discussed that only a higher being could create such an amazing human body. Religion and science is a HUGE interest with me. Feelings and reality (reason) are brilliant polarities, too. He talked about this book “the best man that ever lived” or something and said that leaders like JC didn’t need to be present for his teachings to be around, but leaders like napoleon (dictaorship) needed to be present to lead, amazing stuff. Jesus is still “leading” even today. Obvious sign of a great leader, so is prefontaine. Extended learning.

August 6, 2006

6am tp 7am weird dream

dreamt I had killed some woman a long time ago and was working att eh compter and fell asleep, when I awoke I saw that women ins some old white wedding-gown-like dress floating in the compter monit,r then mom popped up and scared the crap out of me!

August 8, 2005

Dreamdream

Dreamt that a bunch of latin people were getting a drink of water. I said it was crazy comparing this one short course to a 5k on the same couse. Mickey fisher was there and I asked her if she used to do water polo (or xc, I forget) she said she did, but thtat she always held her breath after three strokes, so she didn’t anymore. And how pensive reed docey-gebs is and maybe that helps him get chicks, and how the 5mile course seems SO long, but is rally on lt 2miles more than the 5k .

August 9, 2005

DreamDream

Dreamt I was staying in this huge hotel for some kind of contest where you put this snowboard-shaped piece of wood under you and pull your body around the hotel carpet by your arms like a seal (I think during the normal event they put water on the carpet). There were a lot of city day people day like Claire Holland. I was practicing before the contest/game/fun activity and was pulling myself around with just hands for awhile. I saw Justin and he and I were really psyched to see each other. He said that he slept on the floor in his room on the top floor. I said I did this too (I really did sleep on the floor in the cottage tonight). He said he woke up saying there was this “40-year old mansion with people on either side” and below him is the playground (or something) and somebody there I guess woke him up even though no one was above him. Funny stuff!

— later sleeping

Then this other part of a dream had James and I at this big fancy party with hors d’ouerves and stuff at this big hotel with a bunch of old city day friends. There was some kind of ballroom and stuff kind of like a high-rise “mansion” where we take the pictures at city day. I wanted to stay and eat appetizaers, but james wanted to leave, so we left and got on some subway. Right when the train pulled up james got on and said Ahh, because it looked like I had left something on an armrest I nteh station, I sprinte to the chair to discover ti was only some blue books of matches, then the train sped off. I sprinted to try to catch it and ended up above ground near some art institute place and asked somebody how to catch who, who said I had to go back to the station . I went back to the party in the mansion, had a coupel of appetiers, so robby wile’s brother, reven fellars and cement blocks that shreve fellars (I think) was pushing down the stairs. Then I went back home and told james what happened, when he was writing a paper. Then I asked mom to not thorw out old floppy-disk games I had.

August 13, 2005

DreamDream

Crazy dream. Dreamt that I was in Dr. Shultz class and had to write some kind of paper or something, like a constitution? I kep doing this fast downhill running (which I called downhill racing) where I skidded and switched-back like skiing down a mountain. I kept doing this to some kid and caused him to trip o impress alexa. We were in some Michigan area – dr. Shultz was a big theme. Really weird dream!

August 14, 2005

I realized that waking up early is going to be all about saying no. Additionaly, making decisions is about saying no and saying that’s stupid, ridiculous, dumb,etc. and have that be the exclusion of the decision process. SAY OFTEN that things look stupid or dumb; that helps you make incredible decisions.

man I am really getting on a roll here with this realizations. I used to have one every 5-6 runs, now I have about 10 every run! I really access my essence and it is incredibly illuminating and invigorating! Running just

DreamDream

Dreamt I was in this gigantic pool (or sectored-off ocean) like the one in Deep Blue Sea, but with underwater columns and fences and barriers. Ther ewas this massive megaladon shark that kep trying to eat me and this other person. We swam through the columns to avoid it and to the other side of the tank/pool. Eventually I found this harpoon spear that cooul extend a little prong after it punctured through the shark so that it would creat a clamp and couldn’t’ open its mouth. I think I shoved that in it, and then I thought it could get killed in this gigantic underwater smashing device with two vertical wall-smashers that have spikes that would completely close vertically, smashing the shark’s torso to thin paper or severing is tail and head in two.

Everyone taps into different areas of time. Some people are way ahead of their generation and might be better in a rock group; some are a few years (coach); other are in the now (decision maker) based on their contemporary essence; the best thing to tdo is to study these and pick the profession that uses your sentient connection, contemporary essence as a strength, not as a disability.

I feel so in syn’ now in my life after watching the Mick Jagger documentary and singing and stuff; that really charged me up and made me feel EXTREMELY alive and fun!

August 15, 2005

DreamDream

I dreamt that Taylor and I were like married or seriously dating or something because we were at some place with a wakeboard (LO) with the rest of my family. We had wild sex every night in oru room and she kept saying she was sore from these new positions I was trying and “pounding”. But I said she must have been sore from wakeboarding. Thomas kept talking about using the zodiac and we had a wakeboard and two skis.

August 20, 2005

DreamDream

I dreamt that I was in Chicago. James and I were going out to a bar. I ran and showered and got dressed. The bar turned into this outdoor area with trees and the zoo was nearby and then james and I wanted to go see the elephant exhibit. Before the party I made a drink with two shots of this special alcohol (tequila) and I had james try some because it wasn’t like a m-80 bang!, it was like this building actual firework. I started cooking these mini-wok dishes (with woks the size of your palm and really small ingredients) after the bar in MI somehow I kept doing the eye-avoid contact thing with dad, too, when I was making the woks.

August 23, 2005

For College

DreamDream

I had this crazy dream where I was at Latin – the roof of latin I think – and will naito and maybe some other big guy were all dressed up with their hair slicked by spitting onto this ledge/centerpiece playing some tobacco game and whoever’s saliva landed closest to something one this “taco of rolled up tobacco”. One guy called it a tobacco taco, then I said it was like a “tacky taco”. Weird stuff. Something like the huge Indian Jones boulder occurred and that was that.

Chicaog Second City

Chris Farley

John Candy

Bill Murray

Steve Carell

Tim Meadows

Mike Myers

John Belushi

August 27, 2005

DreamDream

I napped from 4pm-5 today right before James b-day dinner in 430 top floor the lower bunk bed. Dreamt that Darcy bonner, or someone really tall, came into the room over there and I screamed “out imp-demon, out!” Really weird, like exorcist stuff, but I was just calling darcy an imp-demon.

then mom really did walk in that time a little bit later and it was so weird because she looked so much like darcy – weird how I thought that before it happened, like the strawberries (and the strawberry patch lady dying) awesome stuff. Love life to the fullest. Swieng he pauof oi aclajrleadldjljklajkld jfldfhjsdlhw w just stick to self and lalaalsfjosdk lj.

Goals and plans are truly part of a fantasy, and are part of a dream life. They rarely get accomplished and people focus on them excessively without living their life. They become so focused and fixated on arranging things to be occur, they don’t produce any kind of certainty and live in a fantasy world governed by goals and dreams. An actor’s job, therefore is to make this person – the person reading self-help books, lead by goals – realize that truly living is living the dream. If they are excessively focused on goals, the focus on living life by habit, telling the same things over and over again, until life becomes habitual. People rarely go hay-wire now, and if you’re just operating by habit, then you’re not really living.

I realized out of career, financial, mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual healht. I am 150%, A++++ on the last four, but about a C- or something on the first two. They are all interrelated, physical health was so important itec. and that metnal, emotioan psirit waves in– I see those strong connoectan daohteo aofhasdlkf sjdlfksdajfklas jasdlk;fgasdlkfsd;lkf sdfsadfgsadf sdfsdf

• DreamDream

September 3, 2005

o I dreamt I went to some science professor facility like the science room at Latin, and I went up to a guy that looked just like Reed Fellars – it was Reed Fellars. He looked at my transcript and told me that I was done! His hair was neatly combed and he was wearing a green tucked in collared shirt, but he was definitely there .

Deram dream

9/12/05

dreamd I went for a long run in Chicago, came back late at night sneaking in so no one new I was athere. James and dad were having a conversation upstairs and I could hear them because of a baby intercom. James came out of the bathroom crying saying he had been doing drugs in there (dad sound just lik papa and said, I don’t carre if you shoot a cap up your but oar some ) but I do crae about this, and the y rushed to the outside alley way bckyard and coverd up the cigariette butt,s and then they saw m in the bathroom and I had heard the – really a combinton of having seen Ordinary people and machinist and exoirti and papa home veidioes really

Deram dream

woke up at 745 ran 3.1 miles, wore yellow power tie with dress clothes had very interesting class – said a few things, but few had read ncle tom’s cabin; had ENORMOUS amounts of things to say; afterwards, heard that grace wanted me to trash my program and throw out the disks! Total crazy person, and I told her to stop having evan be your little minio and it is as much oru problem as yours our my problem and I put an enojrmous amount of stuff into it over the weekend and the freak wwalked away from me, shut her door and locked me out! Then I went and got a ton of food, three packages including my bike, which I erally don’t use that much, found out I got 4 A’s in a row this summer (KILLER AWESOME Whoo-whoo! That is so great! I was having fun with the classes, that’s why!) swam at 2:10, then did a little library work, checking out books and ran, got a bunch of stuff at king soopers, like mucho mucho yogurt and stuff and had an awesome time! Made pasta and this rocks@

dreamdream

dreamt that james, Thomas, and I slept in some desert and insects – centimpedes and gross arthropods – crawled in our sleeping bags so we went insie but it took a while for them to get ou; we were at a fancy restaurant and dad took some bread from the table as we were leaving, while we distractd the maitre de.

I dropped some coins in front of the elevator and beah had to hold open the door; then dad r james pulled the fire alaram to keep the door open, when we got to oru floo,r people thought tere was a fire so we laughed

9/21/05

DreamDream

Had wild dream. Dreamt that someone was talking about a really smart guy but something happened to his heart of blood or something and he became a pansexual obsessed with sex (thought they were talking about me). Then in the Chicago basement, taylor Carlson was over and she had massive boobies and about 4-5 eyebrows (all different colors like messed up plastic surgery). I squeezed her boobs and fooled around sitting different ways in those chairs, dry fucking. Then we decided to go into the bathrrom and I did some major boob (over-the-shirt)squeezing there. Then that worlf-runner-sierra’as boyfriend guy showed up and we were about to both have sex with taylor or something. James was playing with blocks or something outside and saw us three – I locked the door, but he looked shocked. Mom and dad must have found out because dad came down in a suit before work and, although he didn’t look into the bathroom, told me to remember this card someone had sent about “Be like abe Lincoln and you’ll do right” or something along those lines. It was primal sexual urges verse societal expectatiosn (id verse superego). It was probably one of my mmost vivid sex dream.s

Strange how I got so horny and before I was overwhelmed with thigns to do. I should recoginzie that and love life to the fullest – keep doing thigns and when you do something out lf aling, (like skipping class today), it leads to do things more out of line, etc.

11/13/05

DreamDream

Weird Dream. I dreamt that Taylor was over and was in one the bunk beds that James and I used to have (it was in thomas’s room). I wrote her a nice litter or something and she said it wouldn’t work out between us because there wouldn’t be emotional chemistry or something and she would just be my whore, or something weird. But I looked at that as just playing hard to get. Then I ended sleeping with (it was formal – like assigned roommates or something) with this fairly hot girl wearing a green shirt. She was in a programming class, so I shared my comp. sci. 1 experienece. Apparently she was making a basketball court game. She had imported this mod from another classmate and made a full-court game. I gawked because I only made a half-court program. Then we started to have dry sex and I kept grabbing her boobs underneath her shirt, and she was doing the motions but still looking back at the computer and talking about computer science! Weird. Then I ended watching, or in, something cartoon-like, I think I was (or atleast the protagonist) like some tazmanian devil-like person. A friend was about to leave on a big trip and had shared “Indian Swedish Fish” with people. I thought I wouldn’t get any because I showed up to this party late. I was sitting on the steps as the guy was about to pull away in a cab and he said goodbye and threw a bag at my. “Five Indian Swedish Fish,” he called as the cab sped off. I ate some and ran after him to thank him. The bag caught a big gust of wind and I actually floated off the ground, but then my taste buds kicked in and the Swedish fis hwer eextremely spicy. When the spice kicked in, I lost all of my flying momentum and hit the ground. Wild Weird dream!

11/23/05

DreamDream

Weird dream, I dreamt my family and I were loading up this mini-van that hold all these hors d’oere food things in it. There were banana chips, some rock candy, and all this silver platters of food. I got in a fight with my family aobut stuff and had two bags I was consolidating. This woman in a beige car drove into this parking lot nearby and almost hit me and I flickd her off. At the end I put in a movie that was a taping of some lawyer or something important and my mom started to write something on my chest and I got mad thinking she was doing a tattoo. Really weirdly kind of warped dream.

1/13/05

DreamDream. LOTS of juicy crazy dreams last night. Dreamt that we were at beah’s house and mom and dad told uncle paul and aunt mary that sometimes I said I went to bed early, except paul was more like Anthony robbins, and mary was just totally different (not really the aunt mary I know). They said they could understand that if it was 11, 1130, 1145, 12, but I said it was sometimes 6,630, 7, then they said “steve, come on. We’d know you were up to something”. So they called me steve (prefontaine? Were they implying? Not sure).

In an earlier dream I thought james should write a book “Playing your Ace: Knowing when to draw, bluff, fold, or raise in academics to get As” all about playing the acaedemic poker game to get As.

Damn, I had lots of other dreams, too.

01/17/05

DreamDream

Slept in closet 2nd floor 430 again. Weird dreams.Dreamt that Mr. Hegellund was making us do some singing party bonanza type thing, going away ting that had to do with some kind of ship-like HMS experience. Dreamt that Brett, as some going away present of bday present gave me an extra large $21 doll bill, about 1.75 times as large or 2 times as large and said that it could actually be spent (was worth about $0.04 I think).

Before that I dreamt there was this huge ferocious dog that get viciously barking at me and the owner said he only barked at people he was friends iwt hor something. Kira was interwoven in there somewhere, too.

12/19/05

DreamDream

Dreamt that Ms. Clayton gestured and smiled to me regarding 430, hinting that that was the best place for me. Then a bike was delivered to 430.

Then I was in a totally different scene, walking downtown and ran into a cool guy, driving this really hot girl. I had just ditched this kind of dork/obnoxious guy and I said to the cool guy and girl that we should pick him up (none of us wanted to in the first place, so I shoul have said “there’s that guy. I don’t know if you could fit any more in your car!”) Then the “car” became a red tractor attached to some contraption that felt like the backseat of a car, except that the front was a tractor! Then there was this hot, buff, swimmer girl, he had a sixpack on her back by her spine and the car ended up carrying about 5-6 people, somehow my brother came along and he was sniffling like he was sad. By that time, I was so uncentered and focused on other people that there was no way I could possibly have a chance of hooking up with that initial hot girl when it was just three people including me in the car!

Moral of the story, don’t overstretch myself to be nice, that is recipe for frustration and disaster.

-9pm-10am; got 13 hours of sleep, made cornbread, eggs, did jumble, re-hung picture in my room. Wrote and finishedthe stolen-speakers story, it’s 1pm, now.

1/21/06

DreamDream

Dreamt that I was in some kind of math class talking to a person that could have been (atleast strongly resembled) Tal madanes. Jimmy Davis was there, too. The professor looked like a Dany tynan, but very vicious . Tal said he had gotten a high score (I think it was only in the 5 or 600s) on some standardized test (SAT, possibly?) and then Tynan yelled in front of the whole class, that his father had signed him up for a handi-capped Israeli version, and that he wasn’t that good at mouth and then he screamed and wrote on the board that tal was an introvert. Meanwhile, I reworked math problems I knew how to do while jimmy worked ahead almost all the problems in the class.

This dream implies negativity by making me erroneously think tha themy awesome GRE was illegit, I am like tal madanes, and that I don’t work ahead. That GRE couldn’t’ have been more official! I am in much better shape than tal, we have similar habits of eating food and reading books, but everyone does that, I knew him, I am no where as talented as him with punting in soccer, I am MUCH faster, possibly smarter in some areas for sure, and totally different. I do work ahead but hope I can do more of it. Also, I hope I can accept that French, and othe rsimilaritiates might occur with tal, but hope that I never have bad qualitites that resebmel anyone. And laove itlaei ujamf..

2/05/06_Night

3:43pm

DreamDream

Dreamt that I was in a school (like City Day)wearing my three-piece suit vest. One girl student, Mary, I think — that resembled james in some way — was saying how cool her model plane was with the grey parts. Another student was saying that it wasn’t real and was just fake plastic. They were fighting and I broke them up, and told mary to recognize the other students argument of avoiding over-indulgence and I told the other student to recognize Mary’s argument of the power of belief. Then I told those two people, which were family, if dinner was on that friday. I said that Jeff Cathey wanted to have dinner with me or a meeting arrangement on Friday, but I was already having dinner with Matt Birnbaum; they suggested that I talk to them later

2/10/06

DreamDream

Dreamt that other people were putting on diaper-pants, too. I can’t wear my mom’s sport-jacket, nor my dad’s stuff. I MUST. It is absolutley vital to pick out and decide with tremendous selective attention exactly the things you want or do not want. Accepting things that you did not pick out causes tremendous problems. For example, take an example of purchasing a bike. You go to the bike store and salesmen throw the top-line models at you, the best deals, and you decide and purchase a bike. However, if you asked questions about where to find a certain type of bike, and then discovered a catered option of those bikes, you would then find many examples that you like and purchase one. Frequently we accept things that are given to us that do not fit our life, our psychology, our agenda, our priorities. These — if they are not quickly discarded — become tremendous burdens. They weigh us down. Look at clothing. I wear have 2 suits to choose from, one blazer, a few pairs of casual pants, some athletic clothes, and casual shirts — that’s all. However,

2/11/06 DreamDream

Dreamt there was this hot woman and this contractor old guy and they hired me as a narchitect. I earned $5000 showing up monday and wednesday with a minor degree in architecture and making a few cuts. I jokingly said there are some architects, I am sure — that call in and order a protractor on their vacations because they need to work!

2/12/06 Sun

5:56 DreamDream

Dreamt that I went back to CCDS. There were three people on the green playground field. One of them was Christopher Uthe. Him, and some other people (james maybe?) started sending emails on this row of computers that was in the grass. We were sending emails to people and to the other people in the row of computers. He was sitting next to me and I apologized to him for ever being mean to him or insulting him behind his back. Then mike maizels was suddenly at one of the computers. I said that I apologized if I ever excluded him to talk to with CCDS people (that’s kind of what I needed to do then to talk to uthe).

REALIZATION: I realized this is the 9th step of the 12-step program (making amends; unless amends would injure people). I am totally cleaning my body and mind of impurities.

Then I dreamt Brynn and I were having sex and we were playing this game of letting one person just totally do whatever to the other person who had to not touch at all but just submit –then we switched, taking turns. Very hot image.

I dreamt that I might have tried to make out with that breck-liike person and then punch him. Wasn’t sure if I was fighting or connecting with soem men. The brynn scene was REALLY hot though.

I realized I allow people to distract me SO SO much. Immediately after making a schedule of things I wanted to do, I saw a woman carrying some bread and I thought she was signalling me to grocery shop instead. I do that because of Doubt! I doubt the order of my schedule and have people influence it. The old saying: “if you don’t program yourself, people will program your life for you. You must have a plan or else someone else will create that plan for you. You have to fight for your agenda because everyone gives messages about what you should do with your agenda. Recognize that your business, minding whatever is on your schedule is not only the most important thing in your life, but it gives you the freedom to truly live your life with full dynamism. My schedule got warped when thomas came home b/c I went out of my way to talk to him instead of focusing on the damn schedule! Also, with the improv stuff, too. I need to really really focus on the schedule and mentally visualize each step, for it to hold! Just like a marathon!

2/15/06

3:56AM:

DreamDream. Very interesting dream. A lot of Latin stuff, James stuff, and hot big-boob girl stuff. This big-boobed girl in a white shirt was shadowing me at Latin, we bought lunnch together and she said somethign like, “it’s okay for the strong people to go more than twice (in regards to sex”, so maybe she was hinting at we’d have sex 3 times. Then we sat down with my family and James and I got in a fight and I was chasing him around the lunch tables, but then we ended up joking and having an awesome time — really connecting. Dr. Thornton was talking the whole time in teh background, too.

Enuresis last night. First time in a long time. Here was my day yesterday: Ran at 10am, then Xport swim 8 and ran mile and lifted. Met Angie in pool — very cool woman from missouri — talked about valtudo, kung fu, martial arts, swimming, biking and running, and how I might go back to my old dojo and how she was into advertising and was thinking about getting back into martial arts, too. Then I stopped in fleetfeet znd talked with this woman about naturally-ocurring pronation (frequent), neutral (fairly frequen) and supination (very rare), and how you should look at your natural state (of poor eye sight or something) not as defects, but as somethign that should be embraced as an indication of what’s intrinsically best for you. She was maya clone and it was definitely a fight. Then I talked to 2nd City people, went home, signed up for a second city class, ironed my clothes, had a burrito, called Dr. P, got in suit, practiced VYL, left saw Paul, talked about hockey (and at bars), picked up suit, went to City hall, filled out business license form, checked out the city clerk’s office, (met two woman that SERIOUSLy resembled lara and brynn from Xport) then stopped at Latin and saw a Quarter of thomas’s game, then came home, watched news, and went to sleep at 9:30. Feel rested, awesome and alive!

2/18/05

DreamDream

Dreamt that i was at the parson’s house and I needed something from one of the trunks of their cars so I went out and opened all the trunks and found some kind of battery booster and hooked that up for fun, I must’ve found some maps or something, so I was looking at those (I felt like Kramer in jerry’s apartment) then I looked up in horror and saw that peter parsons was sitting in the car (waiting for a ride) and had seen me going through their trunks. It was okay though.

——-

Okay, wok-up at 6am, showered, ironed my clothes from last night, had cereal, read paper, talked to mom, then dad, then jack (jack is SO cool), the ultimate compliment I want to say to jack that I think it’s a compliment, it depends on what you think of me, that determines it as a compliment about the brother thing. i should’ve just said, It’s true, you are alike a stepbrother. it’s 930am now, and I plan to go running soon.

3/30/06

DreamDream

Long, elaborate, amazing, fun, happy dream. It was happy because it had some fun, amazing people from my past in it. First off there was this some kind of camp. Erica brooks was reading by this tree and I walked by her and then walked by her again, she said, “You look dizzy” to go see these three soccer fields (some other group, JV, and varsity). At the varsity field, all the players were in white, but were playing each other. Camilo (ccds) asked me (Or I asked him, I forget) if there were any napkins and he was with a girlfriend of his. Then it flashed to definitely the CCDS cafeteria. Jimmy, some other people (jeff z, bret, darcy, maybe maren, definitely Dr. Shultz, alexa?) were sitting, scattered around the cafeteria tables all our current age, about, I went over to one table and picked up the yellow napkin holder and and distrubed napkins very lavishly, extravagantly, saying , “here are the napkins, napkins, servielletas”. Then I joked to the CCDSers that whenever we went to McDonalds, “Ronald Mcdonald was always there”, and I was hinting that Dr. Shultz had dressed up like Ronald Mcdonald. Shultz then laughed and said to me, “you faxed it to me”. I had faxed some things to other people earlier on and guess that weaved into it.

April 5, 2006

DreamDream

Dreamt I was in SB, said I was going to Florida, I think for a weekend, with Jamie Del Rio (maybe?) but then went biking on this beachfront trail with Tom fort and did some awesome fun surfing at this beach point.

I remembered how exceptional I was outside the Coral when Cortland and Graham were there. I wanted to stay out in the water, but cortland went in so I went back to shore, but I loved it out there adn rocked. I’m pissed my board got swept away. I will get a great board back, I know it!

3 hours Later

Dreamt I was on the bus and peopel were discussing the words respect versus reverence. Someone said that reverence was about titles, I think. Before that some guy, I think, asked if he knew Morpheus or if I knew morpheus or someone like that and then got off and transformed or something. Then I was defintiely in the 428 Kitchen and someone was talking about managing challenges and I used the example of a class, saying, yeah if your’e in a Calculus 7 class and you’re struggling iwth it…then the person said yeah, the normal reaction would be that Calculus 10 would be harder, insinuating that if you were exceptional at matyh, Calculus 10 would be easier because it woudl be goign more at yoru pace! Then I remembered the Calc.1 class with the tropical shirt guy.

Math, I feel, truly organizes your brain on a superb level!

4/20/06

Dream Dream

Dreamt an awesome dream. I flippered up onto boat very much like the SEA boat, and they said I had to take my flippers off, and ther ewas josh petty and some friends. George bush and donald Rumsfeld were on the boat in suits and there were bickering and fighting about something. I looked at my small cramped, claustrophic bed space and then put flippers back on, dumped my waterproof bag overboard and dove in the water and swam away! What I really wanted to do!

4/26/06

Wierd Dream:

Dreamt that I was watching this bigscreen movie in a theater with some red chairs covered and I could change the tape to the sec ond movie, but there wer esome people looking at aps in the basement, and this huge fat guy got bowling balls put on him, then I ignited him on fire and quickly got myself in a stone fireproof rom, so I was safe.

5/8/06

Wierd Dream

DreamDream

Was at some convention where larry king spoke, but he looked and acted like Dan Miller from the C Innovation Awards, and george bush was there. There were all these sophisticated, smart, hippie-nerds well dressed that seemed to be like my group. This old beth-like woman gave me a 2nd parking ticket and I complained that I was right there and put the coin in immediately after. There were pods of groups/cliques I was trying to find mine. The shaved head, clean, clear, smart, group pf people seemed to be a connection.

August 27, 2006

130 Palm Tree Lane

Catching major up on sleep.

DreamDream

Very vivid dream and with only one other person, my computer programmer friend, RV. This is strange because usually my dreams were smorgasbords of flashes of friends, this was just solidly RV. We met for a “friend-reunion” very casual business meeting in a nice restaurant. His computer business had grown to about 20 employees. He mentioned how much food he had eaten a few days ago (obviously biking/eating was an undertone). I commented on how he will always be a better coder.

Obviously my recent coding sparked this dream. I was thinking any idiotic college bloke can read a book and call himself a literary genius but math — math builds upon previous learning and seems like the most impressive form of learning.

Tom Kuczmarski is a brilliant saint; a kind, kindred spirit; a generous, benevolent soul; a miraculously intelligent individual, the epitome of a smooth, smart, strong, individual.

Spending time in LA — outside of school and my parents house is a Terrific reality check because it seriously has me

August 29, 2006

DreamDream

Very vivid, real, and intriguing dream. Dreamt that I was with my old city day peers, and a few people from highschool. There was this selection process that was very ceremonial — like a trial or a wedding procession. Bret walked down this aisle and then proceeded to drip/feed a slice of orange to all of these girls (Kira, Alexa, Anna, Jacqui and others that seemed familiar) and then he picked one to be his wife. Then I did the same and bret brought the orange, I joked that I was the ring-bearer at his wedding (which is like Uncle Paul) and discussed how I was going to pick Alexa, Jaquie, or this other person, all of them ate the orange but those three . Then I was walking around still trying to decide and Kira popped up saying what Justin had said about the field earlier was totally fake. I had missed kira in the process. Also, Justin seemed to be untrrustworthy. I went through a dilemma of kira all those other three and thought about both and then thought about how awesome my life would be if I was so instantaneously decisive always making the correct decision, that decisiosn never existed.

On that note, I realized that if I had more money, I could do anything. I could just drive to my grandmother’s because I wanted to and I wouldn’t have to worry about brining food, or a place along the way because with money, wherever you are, that has what you need, mroe or less.

110106

DreamDream —

Dreamt aunty joann was using the cateye stationary outside the 428 kitchen bathrroom and said she liked it better than her bike (which I told her I rode) then she fell over in the bike.

Uncle dean ran a 4 minute mile and a doctor came up to him and told him he woudl pay him if he stopped running for his health. He said he traiend to eat all this food and then ran it again very well.

———

the similarities between uploading data and plugging into the matrix as Jonny/Neo are huge. You can see strong resemblances between teh movies. Keanu was cast as a partial-neo long before matrix in this flick. the don’t hit his head thing was pretty itneresing. way I feel sometiems with massive inforamtion sessions donwload/upload. the villian is a pretty cheesy actor.

12/3/06

DreamDream

Dreamt I was staying at beah’s house and went to school, but was in 5th-8th grade or so. I walked home with a pack of kids to this one kid’s house. He had this cool tram “gondola-like” lift that had a red/green, on/off switch to turn on a radio frequency recieving device. It had those jumbo headphones that you could listen to the radio, too. We watched a really good movie with the kid from a “perfect world” in it. The next day I snuck back into that kid’s house and watched the movie, but then all of his family and relatives came home and I told them the walk back would have been too problematic. Clint Eastwood was there and some other actors. They weren’t bothered at all and asked me to help fill the stockings! Eastwood was holding the kid from the movie and I told him he was AWESOME in “a perfect world”.

12/9/06

AMAZING night out in chicago party scene. Met up with Johhny B at The Spot. He had a TON of energy. It was athletic one-half, improv-folk the other half. Met this fairly sexy, hot actress woman with the electric shock jolt hand shake, another nice looking hot woman and some other blokes. Then rolled to exedus 2. Some of the best dancers I’ve ever seen in my entire life. LOVE — I LOVE the jamaican scene. The intense rasta music I LOVED. Totally Totally Totally blood was very entertained and maybe connected with that. Afterwards, I went to Dueling Pianos and talked with this like 35 year-old woman about me wearing a three piece and she knew that I was 22 some how. She then introduced me to other women to meet. I really liked her, though! I also realized, she was kind of like alexa, and her friends like zoe, and/or taylor. VERY cool and alive awesome stuff. Good tricks I learned were to tense stomach INTENSELY and READ the signs. My biggest flaw and fallacy is thinking I know it all, when I MUST read the signs of PEOPLE — about what I should say/do. Then I whipped the british accent and some AWESOME dude kept trying to introduce women to me. A lot of love there. That dude

12/18/06

DreamDream

Dreamt I was in an indoor pool, kind of like a lake, swmmin on my own but doing dives and under water swims. The rest of the “group” was practicing paddling in a yellow survival boat. I pranked sneaking up on them underwater, afterwards I seemed to notice people’s fear-meter more. I shook Kieth fort’s hand and his blood pressure (or fear meter?) dropped then I shook it again and it went back up . A woman resembling Mark’s daughter (in MI) we had three chances to hook up, first going into a place, next with a little clothing, and next naked. I saw her naked when talking to keith.

I am feeling more and more aware that my “intelligence”, like everyone’s intelligence is an act. I know how to act, sound, and “be” in telligent. That’s the glasses ,intellectual act. I want to work on my acts of Romanctic (fun, loving, affectionate, nice, generous, kind, sexy, seductive, attractive) and Defense (serious, cutting, aikido reflex, barrage, arsenal of comebacks, intense). The Intelligent act is fantastic for successs, image, and progress. The Romantic is great for happiness, identity — namely women, and surfing. The Defense is a stabiliizer it keeps me moving forward by fending off people who attack me in either the Romantic or the Intelligent acts. The Defense ensures positive, STABILIZED movement. So how do I

12/20/06

Dreamt the cottage in SB was HUGE, you could see zcross massively and it was mom’s office and you could park cars in there it was so big, There was a MASSIVE conference room a pciture of william wallace braveheart and it was like a fully decorated warehouse. A little pool guy was working on some small pool outside and it was a secret how big it was.

12/23/06

Ransdells last night (their awesome m

1/0?/2007

DreamDream

Great Dream. Dreamt I had some beautiful hot indian woman and we all got gifts or something. I wanted to make my kid a bow and arrow set or a canoe or something. and she kept hunting/gathering. and someone else kept shooting arrows

January 9, 2007

DreamDream

Really freakish dream. Dreamt I was punching this little mini-dude and I hurt him so I ran off and then ended up in a Becket Rooms and no one new it was me acting until I told them, then when they cast new parts they let me in because they new I could and wanted to, I volunteered to do the elevator social-work.

REALIZATIONS

I am never going to do what my father does for a living — consulting ,teaching, writing — in the way that he does it because it’s ineffective; his classmates aren’t engaged, his readership won’t make changes and his clients don’t really want to change. I’m committed to the passion that Steve Irwin lived by. He brought out the best of people by thrusing real live animals in their snobby lives. His inconquerable enthusiasm was indomitable and he was an amazing person.

Jan. 20,2007

DreamDream

Okay weird, very vivid dream involving a marathon, sex, hookups, and the beach. First off, dreamt I ran a marathon in Chicago. The city had planted new horizontal trees where the old one used to be and I was in a car for the first few miles of the race but there was a lot of traffic so I got out and ran it. But also in the car was this French-speaking/foreign woman who had taken her top off (she was treating the car like a cab). I think tdk had been driving nad beah was in the car. But when I got out, the foreign topless woman followed me and it turned out to be Angelique (the hottest woman I’ve ever seen). I somehow had swimming trunks on and had only my credit card. We ran down the beach passing a surf instruction class. I told her people were learning to surf. My credit card broke/tore. We swam out a little bit a way from shore (it was a crowded beach and it could have been pacific coast or Lake Michigan. Then she started giving me a blow job off and on while I looked her boobs and we hooked up in the water. There was another couple hooking up and I video taped us and this other woman asked me to secretly video tape them and then I woke up.

January 20, 2007

DAY JOURNEY

Cleaned the house and closets with susan

February 19, 2007

DreamDream

Dreamt I was roommates with brett and I wanted to send a lot of stuff (beach hat, bottle of fluid, candy, clothes) to kira hesser via an owl, but I had to be selective so the owl could fly. Bret asked what I wanted to do and I said “go meet girls”, then he said, okay, we should get loosened up and have some drinks first. Before that a bunch of us were on the beach and we swam out to an island and then island hopped.

So cmmon themes: city day friends, beach, Hawaii, harry potter

Feb 20, 2007

Okay realized tom is comfortable talking to me about moving out (doesn’t like talking ot me about a job); susan is comfortable about talking to me about a job (but not moving out)! Resolution: try talking to tom about job and susan about moving out – that’s their areas of expertise. Susan knows all about moving out; tom knows all about professions. Jolly good. Or just talk to them about what the tendency is.

February 21, 2007

DreamDream

Great wild dreamt. Dreamt I was with City Day and SEA students, seth (CCDS), Siana (SEA) and others and we were at some retreat camp. I got a great photo-shoot with this beautiful tan-skinned Japanese woman wearing a flower bikini. I put my camera on a pedestal and set the timer and ran over to this fence and climbed up to get a self-timer photo of me and 3-4 other friends that were there, and it timed perfectly, but when I got back to the camera, Justin had taken out the battery and/or flash and said it didn’t work, but he just broke it on purpose. Next we were in some lodge-like hut place with separate lines and I was fascinated and turned on by the Japanese women in there. Seth complained about soreness in his leg and the Japanese woman described where it was. I was like “how do you know that”, she said because of the way he walked, but it could’ve been because of how he walked, if he had told her about his aches, or if she had had sex with him. I went with to this other group with this Chinese woman and they right all kinds of numbers, hieroglyphics, and japanese characters on our hand with a magic marker, for some kind of game or group id.

Feb 22, 2007

Rule 1 in life: You can’t talk about what you dislike; you can only talk about how much you enjoy and appreciate things you do like. If you know what’s good for you (more specifically, if you know about the law of attraction), you won’t waste time focusing in on what you dislike. The more time you spend criticizing things you dislike – even if the focus is a loathing distaste – you’ll be more apt to be forced to work with that situation again.

Great realization. People in your life aren’t real. You create them. It’s all a dream. The integrity of the globe depends purely on your mind. Most importantly, you don’t have to feel bad for people because they aren’t real. Don’t feel bad for something that doesn’t’ exist. Parents are the perfect example because they, remember, say things and say things completely contradicting themselves the next day. They completely and totally aren’t real). What does this do for your mind? It ridicules being negatively (or even positively) affected by them, because they don’t exist. Would you be severely impacted by a step you step on? No, it’s not a real person. This makes you feel clear and good and strong because you can stay focused on multiplying your existence with verisimilitudes not from the soul, or deviating from certainty, but the heart – the greatest source of epiphany and originality. You don’t have to try to impress them just as much as you don’t have to make them laugh. They don’t exist. Enjoy that.

March 28, 2007

DREAMDREAM

428 Roslyn

1st dream facing north-west. Dreamt I was doing this nirvana obstacle course where you had to tangle and go over these horizontal bars all with the nirvana lyrics playing on them or you had to sing them. Alexa and molly were watching. Then when I completed it, I got to suck alexa’s boobs and have crazy sex.

2nd dream facing north-east.Dreamt I was on the beach and my total body was tan – tan, warm, brown colors — and I had the hair that went up and back, not a fro, but slicked up, and I always talked to a person when I landed from surfing, landing perfectly next to them — it was smooth. Then there was this dude on the beach like ramon. Then there was this hot blond-haired woman on the beach who had her laptop and we flew back and I was going to SB and she was going to Canterbury tales, and then I kind of started following her.

3rd dream facing north-west. Dreamt I was some teacher in a school and I got these kids to stop smoking by saying, “If you stop smoking, you’ll be a knock-out”. It turns out that “knockout” meant that they’d get to fight in some UF fight. Then I saw these kids smoking hookah-bong hits out of this mini trainset and I said if they stopped doing that, their grades would sky-rocket. Then at the end of the year all of them stopped doing the bong hits and we did this zero-gravity plane ride. So I got them to stop smoking and bong hits.

April 4, 2007

GoodDream

Dreamt I was in Michigan or something and went for a run. When I came back holly from the TF class (She had somehow taken the class) was there (and so was maya and other people but I didn’t focus on them). I probed her for info on the class and she said that it WAS destructive and it did target me. Finally some clarity on that; that made me feel better. Then we were all in the MI kitchen and tdk made some awkward move with ssk (like the too-early grab for a boob on a first date) and I asked about randy and someone being gypsies, and then we were going to Michigan that day. Maya clicked my glass on something trying to “act intimate” and I clicked it but then I clicked thomas’s to make it seem negligible and that was that. Solid. I felt MUCH more clear around holly than maya. The best part was I started telling stories and feeling my old self then we got a funny picture of someone (maybe the kokatays) holding james ,Thomas, and my laundry. Wow, insightful dream.

MARCH 6, 2007

REALIZATION

Wow, my dreams are really shaping professional opportunities for me! I dreamt this woman in a parking lot – after some race? – asked I I was the one who had tried to give her massage advice. In short, Istarted a side massage business.

I really can picture my self with 3 business cards for each of these three business! Sweet and it wouldn’t hurt to run them all because I would only gain more clients. There wouldn’t be any downside in other words! Wow, this is some great realizations. This is BRILLIANT! Because I’ve had an enormous amount of opportunities and time to successfully and creativiely care for and nurture my body, heart/emotions, and mind and now I can do that with the three businesses – validatelife, PRO, and spyderbyte.

3/20/07

DreamDream

Dreamt I was in italian class and they were handing out chickens in an assembly line!

Major realization here. I realized that I get so frustrated with my dad because his presence causes me to trigger a reaction wehre I feel guilty if I don’t entertain him with acting, and actions, and movements, and all this shit. And the exchange that we’ve set up is that I do that and he gives me “wisdom” that he thinks is valuable, but that I, ultimately, don’t want to hear. The catch is that I DO like entertaining for people. Except that I would much rather have them change and be inspired by the entertainment, instead of simply getting a kick out of it, which is what my parents do.

Resolution

Look at them for entertainment – their usually is none. That one dude at the club was really focused, which was cool, but other than breck, most people aren’tentertaining. Intellectual performer. That’s what I want to get paid for. That’s what I love to do. Intellectually perform!! But here’s the thing with pay, I’ll entertain if I have to.

March 25, 2007

DreamDream

Dreamt I was at a concert and had to play the drum thing of Jane’s Addiciton song. Darcy ran into me and said that Anne Liggio made him a copy of the mix I gave her. There also was a lot of great presentation stuff. VERY cool, colorful amazing dream

All my dreams the pst 2-3 days have been extremely colorful and lively and great, and then I wake-up to dark, miserable Chicago. Hopfully, I’ll find those good times wherever I am, in reaity.

June 15, 2007

aDreamDream

Dreamt that this flow of animals came to 428. After a cat and then a loaf-of-bread sized mini golden retriever. A mean cat with a patched eye (and the rest white) scared some away, but then a fox came and some other animals to be cured, taken cared of, and/or healed. I took the first cat and the mini retriever in my car and headed out west I think. Last I remember was being on some beach.

Next dream was in some library where I saw a book Called “Saint…something” or “Prophet..something” about this spanish dude who looked exactly like me! black and white and very serious. But when I tried to get the other copy, I realize it had a diffferent cover and was really some indian book my parents had called “making people unlimited” or something (that totally wasn’t the name). Then my mom frantically started to take me to other bookstores to find books fora writing project.

June 16, 2007

DreamDream

Dreamt I was reading a piece of lettuce to my parents which explained this art challenge where you had to make or create art for a month so that other artists respected you as an artist, or actually believe you to be an artist!

I am learning SO much from my cat!! playing, behavior, how to connect and be certain! Everything baby! yeah. Also, regarding RotoA, I have to realize that if someone shuns me, it’s their loss, because it only helps people! It only is fun and surfing (ocean – me – with all that water) and wildness and that’s awesome! Also, there are always these little awesome “hints” like the women at ACS wearing shoe-booties like surfing, and the mini captain, (When you run) to make your dreams work out!

June24, 2007 10:57pm

Well, i killed the cat today. it’s neck snapped as it was flung across the woomafter it was recovering from refeeding and bloated stomach due to water inhalation.

This is a very serious email. It’s obvious to me that chicago and chicagoans seriously are not compatible with me, nor I compatible with them. They’re vile, disgusting, vomitous people. i’m sick of this sickeningly situation. but i don’t want to criticize them. That’s not fair. the best thing to do. the only thing to do is to get back to CA. That is where my heart is. That is where i want to be. CA is awesome!

DreamDREAM

Dreamt that I was in some big easter egg hunt – kind of dreary place – with friends. one guy was some bully who they sent to kill off a cliff, evyerone was happy, then a huge swarm of giant flying bugs was conjured.

June 27, 2008

9:48 Pm, DreamDream – Just slept from about 11am to now in MI cottage

Dreamt I was with these three hot, kitten/cat like girls who left a blue footprint, a yellow, and a red, and all went different directions. My dad showed up and saw the footprints after I talked with a doorman guy (like joshua), and after I played with the girls and after meeting with him, I was too serious to play with them anymore.

Basic themes: obviously shows negative impact father had on me.

June, 2007

.

Vi

Dream

Was on a boat

Viisited this huge house. It was just beth and I and beth was cleanig each of the 9 floors. There was an elevator, but just a platform that raised up and down. I went to empty the wastebaskets of the up 8 and 9th floors wile she was cleaning the 7th. She sounded like marley, breeze, and maren. i had a boner on the 8th and 9th floors. Then marely was angry about something and pused beth and was dangling on the t4th floor but survived.

Outside teer was 2 dogs that sat and watched.

Earlier I was on a ship.

Dreamdream

very peculiar dream. Dreamt I was at this huge banquet with a lot of cobalt members, some african american women, and other people (about 20), and then we went to get cake and ice cream and I snuck some raspberry icecream that we weren’t supposed to have; then I made a toasst saying things couldnt be better: i was kind of involved in this band and things going great.

I remembered listening to lenny kravitz after visiting maya; rememerd tom fort’s teeth chattering; blind mellons in 5th grade; block spaceships in jk;

dreamdream

dreamt I was partners with this girl and she took massive notes about cube something and then about seaweed in the ocean; we were doing some kind of bball player. Early bauer saw this one play where I passed off the way to flip tot the other side of the cort (underneath the basket and it would work wih 2 other passers

themes: bball, ocean, project.\\L

later on emiy wickersham was definitely in the dream. There was this older man (dad from home alone). Emily wickersham left the room when he showed up because she didn’t like him, dropping me the hint that he wanted to be a doctor (he was a markteter or teacher now or something). So then I go up to him and say, something direct like , “so how’s it not being a doctor”. he’s startled and taken aback and says “what” and then go into details of teaching and that profession or something and he leaves stunned but in a better place (he might have been like greb baker)

Next uncle dean (and I am helping out somewhat( are cooking a huge dinne – like hundreds of people could be fed – but it’s in the 428 dinning room. Salad is a main course. There is a skunk-like dog and 2 rabbits running around that the kids are playing with, I sit down and eat a few bites and tehn go back to computer work in the next room. My laptop has about 50 chords on it. Tdk criticizes me for not eating. I come back for desset and he jokes, “well now I can pretend to eat with you” (because everyone else has eaten). I go into the kitchen and there is shrimp cocktail and tiramisu dishes to be sreved to about 100-400; uncle dean talk in huge detail about beer types. I realize that if you know a lot about everything, you can really thread in different people’s interests in a single conversation.

jul7 18,2007

DreamDream

VERY strange dream. dreamt I ended up back at 428. ssk and tdk wanted me to have breakfast, i didn’t want to, because it would mess up my run, pllus when I looked at the mini breakfast table, they were all in their same seats and eating 100% natural cereal and the whole table looked dark and dreary (good! i turned the color down on them!) Then I went upstairs and jsk was in the bathroom about to shower back from travel. I was excitred to see him; his hair was all combed over one side. i said he looked like jordon elliot and then he said he and jordan were going to make these types of nuts shere they cut one nut to make it look like another nut, (so it would look like an almond, but still taste like a pecan – weird). then ssk and tdk stormed upstairs to get me to go to breakfast. i hid in the luggage closet, but the door faced S instead of E. the went upstairs and said I don’t think he’s there. then I cranked the knob a bit and ssk found me. Then we were all in tmk’s room and tmk and I kept slapfighting each other. it looked kind of serious but it felt kind of fun. .tmk kept breaking us up and eventually threatened us so we stopped. finally we were looking at these two pieces of paper with lots of pairs of different colored shapes. each pair looked like the same color and shape, but when you saw the cheassheet, it was obvious that there wer hujdreds of subtle differences (whan said BAlmer the other said Balmer, for example).

July 18, 2007

DreamDream

dreamt i was in some gym. there was a snowman building thing and then we had to karata chop the snowball. I was in a group with seth, brett, maybe zack, justin? people like that. then I went to the front of the gym and came back and jeff z and d someone (darcy? probably not) missed the entire snowball on the karate chop, so I realized I was in the wrong group. my group was doing really well. hitting all the karate chops. The n bret d. decided to get this briefcse of i think $100 in coines all very neatly baggied and organized, etc. then we playede poker. I wanted to cash in our chips for real money but didn’t want to play with a hosue dealer.

10/8/2007 8:31 AM

DreamDream

Very interesting dream. Dreamt I went to church; a lot of colors and Alexa H sat next to me during service along with her sister. It was restricted talking because of the service, but I was very happy to see her. Told her about meg’s show; asked about some other stuff. Then I said I was profusely sweating because “I had been “praying” to meet up with her and now I jut met up with her in church!” Then I left supposedly for meg’s show. There was a LOT of vivid colors in the church . Then I masturbated to her breasts and ass; and to kira.

Yesterday

DreamDream dreamt I was pickup up leaf debris in Beah’s backyard, George, Nick, and some other smith came by and we went for a walk. Nick and I talked about not finding work, which just made me more frustrated. One guy had one of those mini-garbage sweepers he used on stuff.

11/21/2007 12:14 PM

DreamDream

I dreamt seth sinclair and I were talking to people around some school (like latin) for papwerwok. I tried to get all of my gym test physical body test results printed up with an extra copy, but needed an extra 100 dollars to pay this woman. I got infuriated at how the city always wants my money , and I don’t have any. I screamed Fkkkk around kids and hten ran with seth because some moms/teachers were tryig to figure out who said that.

Conclusions: I don’t feel like this is my life. In fact, I KNOW this isn’t my life. My life is saying my books out loud, it’s surfing, it’s living out doors, it’s with kids, it’s away from the paperwork, no it has TRANSCENDED paperwork.

Great wisdom from hiro allthroughout. This is a great show. MUST mult-tsask movies.

11/24/2007

Drea0DRea0

Brothers and dad and I were on some helicopter then a really high-up dock, and launched off a towel with a microchip in on it and prpelled it through slude stuff.charlie sheen and I were looking at gifts to buy denis richards One was a wierd loom, hammock-like bed, whicker. Then at 428, got dressed for party, wore 2 shirts, collared, and white pants with brown shoes and leather jacket. inroudced for like half a second, denise richards and chalrie to parents and JAmes, james kept saying he could proofread my paper (book report, contract,or speecb or something), we left me and denise richards snickering at james. Then charlie was stumbling and I went back to change pants to the white I think, beauase he was hit by a car, which was really smashed! Then at the ceremony, we at at high stool-like table chairs. and the guy from Magnolia and fargo kept commenting on chqrlie’s collar telling im to loosen it, denise and I played footsie. such a well-place(the type of dreams I want to have with celerity people I trust).

12/25/2007

DreamDream

Dreamt that I had to transport these slimy, embryo-like penguin monkey things (they were bloody), and it took me forever to figure out that I had to pick them up from their feet. Maybe they were like wierd baby dinosaur-like creatures. There were like busienss people around who didn’t care about saving them or something.

Monday, February 11, 2008

938am

DreamDream. I think I just had one of the most relaxing sleeps and drems of my life! I think I attribute it to the slow, gradual, peaceful, but definitely forward-moving Weekly review session I had last night right before going to be bed, while playing baroque music. I just picked up a slip of a todo and did it !!! then moved on to the next one, it wasn’t panic, it wasn’t jumping around, it was just doing the slips if I could and getting a TON done. Sleep was from 1130 – 930 so 10 hours and GREAT hours and SOoooo peaceful. The dream. I dreamt I was in a nice suit with a cheesy plaid jacket but I had to take photos with 2 women and rotate other two women. It was in som high-ceiling very fancy place like a very nice hotel, but quite ornate. The dad or photographer their said I was like “their baby”. Then I’m taking a photo with one girl and jessica farinella and I put my arm around jessica’s waste and I’m like “Jessica you have the same hip/waist size as you did freshman year!” and she started laughing because it was a nice compliment. She was reallly hot. awesome dream and VERY rejuvenating sleep! wow!

awesome dream and VERY rejuvenating sleep! wow! I also attribute it to teh peaceful awesome classical music, just that slow, deliberate, peaceful zen state of just knocking off those thigns in my NA, Actions, Reference, etc and PROCESSING and gathering everything in clubhouse and putting them in “Electronics – Misc” and “Hiking” bins and having the shed organized and reading my junior year journal and just FINALLy getting stuff done and having MASSIVE scope of everything I’m doing AND putting it in my_mind_updated. AWESOME. it’s so simpe, zen, stress-free, but also SOOO rpoductive and ontop of everything! Man, I haven’t felt this peaceful and clear and “in a peaceful zone” probably since I was bout 2 or 3!!!. Sweet! So realixing. I haven’t had a sleep like this in years!! It was magically soothing!

One thing I’m a bit pissed about is women never call me or hoook up with me after the first night, so I feel like i have to hook up with them the first night. That’s what I’d want, but it kind of bites that that’s the ONLY method of hooking up with them it seems.

I mean i’ve got the David Bach financial stuff aligned and KNOW how to handle finances for future Security Basket and plan to get the 6 -12 months of secuirty money tuckd away and have all that. And everything insanely, neatly organized in my-mind- it rocks!! And then I read EW right before going asleep which put me in that cool dream mode. fun stuff!

Saturday, February 16, 2008

SB Clubhouse 6am to 315pm sleep

DreamDream Wow, REALLY Different and COOL and comprehensive dream. It involved Taea, hawaiians, brad pitt, and surfing! I dreamt I walked around hawaii for awhile with 2-3 women. Then we ended up waiting in this restaurant where brad pitt ended up eating a doggy carton of chinese food. He had a huge throng of people constantly around him. In the dream he and I knew each other, like old CCDS friends. I waited for awhile and went up to say somethign to him, I think about surf. He just kind of smiled and was like “cool, awesome man” and was enthusiastic but curt and definitely had that “response that didn’t meet my expectations” but it was cool to see him. Then it flashed to a beach with long picninc tables and eating lunch. The storm surf was really churning up and this was all in hawaii. I realized I loved surfing. Surfing was more important than movies. I evne picture movie stars like brad pitt out on the water on the waves as that being an even more fulfilling profession for me and them. Taea was definitely there, then some HEAVY surf came in that started out far but churned up the seabottom like beachbreak.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

DreamDream Hella Weird dreamm!!! Dreamt that I had visited old latin. it was like a “becket rooms” play tal madanes was there in a raincoat sitting outside in the rain, but I had to rush by him because I had to get somewhere fast. so I couldn’t find out why he was outide (I later learned he had this fireman-like raincoat that I complimented him on, even though it lookd pretty ridic. but it was better than his old coat and efffectively waterproof. I think dani steele or someone else was doing something “weird” that made little sense at the time but I had to rush past it). Then I flashed to my parents 428 home. Dad was just laying around on the beds, and I only saw his feet! Finally, I applied to a job and got out of the house.Then I ended up i na gondola in Alaska, going REALLY high up. it was like a flying boat gondola. There was a mangy, fun-loving long-eared brown dog next to me and in the other end of the gondola-boat was someone like SSK and costin/stimpert or someone. They ketp commenting on how much better the dog was doing now on drugs. I gave the dog a hug and showed it some love so then I didn’t misinterpret that the were tlking about the dog, not me. I though I would have been treated less human having been on drugs. WOAH!! Signficance! Maybe all those people “back” at latin WERE doped up on drugs or their passsion killed by society!!! YEah, because it was dark and bleak there. then it was breck/stimpert/ssk who almost did that to me, but I excaped and can still be animal-like if I want, but live as a human. sweet!

Saturday, February 23, 2008

DreamDream

Weirdest pattern of multiple dreams.

Dreamt there was some dude who had viagra-like supplements and pills and enhanceers but they were in the form of green slimy slugs and weird sandy-balled-up spiders in a murky sand water jar. Apparently you ate them when they were “ready” for sexual enhancement and other supplements.

2. dreamt some kind of selection chain business thing I was doing, not sure.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

DreamDReam

WIerid dream. Dreamt I revisited Cityda. I was right outside the library (with all those red handles and white doors) with some paper work or something. Then I flashed to some empty room that was like a “place to stay” during a hiking trip. I remember trying to lay out beds on teh floor with elaborate arm-pillows without trying to bump legs with other people (I think seth s. was there and other peple). The hiking ‘rations” were like skittles and “bulk” supplies.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

DreamDream

Robin williams on ball. lonely, then had class sat next to lyndsay caine, tabbi gillan, and someone else with a mni expresso, SOOOOoo much happier. So happier around women.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

DreamDream

was at beahs. I “opened” at a dinner gaterhing then went to the other room with beah, and some oher people. Beah was talking about everythign she ate like “we’re gonna spread this buter on her, then we’re going to bite. then we’re going to start up digestive system and chew chew chew some more” a happy fun dream.

Then dreamt I was just active as heck with all these people. REALLY fun dream and energizing. I Dreamt I was like back in the highschool mode with cool fun times at latin. My PEAK! With soccer, swims, ease of friends, hillary and babes , FUN truly fun times! And good shirts and clothes. Fun stuff!

Friday, March 14, 2008

DreamDream. I dreamt that I shook hands iwth Jim Carrey and met jim carrey in teh flesh! I was so charged and he said I lookeed VERY serious about my interest in comedy because I was so excited to meet him. I expressed massive enthusiasm for his work and everything and then I someone was like “what else do you say”? I didn’t know. I felt like I should get advice on “how did he first start”, but I knew he’d just say open mic. It was weird because I didn’t know what I wanted. I was just so psyched to have met him, maybe I just wanted him to a be friend instead of give all this advice I already knew the answers to

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

DreamDream

Wild weird dream VERY long, complex and convolueted with different angels. One part was me biking to some downtown place. And there were 2 newspapers, one 1 quarter, the other 2 quarters. The .25 one had more comics and jumbles but was less informative, the other had great articles. I got the .25 this day, but the .50 one the time before.

Also earlier on in the dream something weird was going on with like compartment rooms in some house. wild. cool.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

DreamDream wierd dream.

Kool Cigarette Dream. Dreamt I got asked to do an ad for Kool cigarrettes. Some guy was like “you like Kool cigarettes, right?” I didn’t even really ahve time to respond. NExt thing I know because I wanted to or becaue they gave me some cigarettes I’m stnading their smoking a Kooz cigarettes and 3 celebrities wearing grey and black, mostly gray, like sweaters and stuff and jeans maybe or nice pants (brad pitt was one of them) shoot up and they all lock shoulders with arms around each other’s shoulders and then before I can realize who they are and that they are in the commercial with me they all like “vaporize” like vanish in the the air!

This was interesting dream because I couldn’t help but feel used to promote a product (tobacco)tha killed! That made me feel seriously discouraged, but it was awesome to be in a commercial filming with pitt and other big names, but the intention of that didn’t sit with me. Oly want to promote good productts but best of all QUALITY entertainment andbelief!! (comedy and drama)!!!

By the way, I feel GREAT that I stopped smoking after getting so violently ill. Seeing the ash, molten, dark, dusty, sooty, vile ash produced by the cigs, I am disgusted I inhaled that into my gentle, awesome lungs. I feel gross about doing that. Maybe one cig per week, but I really don’t want to smoke anymore. I did it out of nervous panic of not knowing what to wear, where to go, etc. it never helped. I thought I needed to do that to think of good things. NOT TRUE. By not smoking I can keep massively aligned with Consistently doing great thigns, instead of random one-teim good ideas, I would have thought calling chip if I hadn’t smoked a lot sooner probably! haha!!

Awesome that Ive gotten a few celebrity dreams. the jim carrey oen was MOST cool, though!

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

DreamDream

Exercise, breakfast, class, by something tasty and fun routine

I dreamt I had this routine. the dream was fairly bright and colorful so it was NOT a bleak routine, fairly stabilizing I guess. Anyways, dreamt I’d wake up every MORNING (not midday-evening) do a run (likely a run, some kind of workout), have the same breakfast (just a really healthy breakfast, likely not too intense, but definitely healthy and consistent, like eggs or something), then I’d go to class (like BC2 morning!?!!) then afterwards and This was the main part of hte dream (that you remember the most) after class I’d go into likely teh same grocery stoer (kind of felt like a Whole foods or possibly a trader joes) and then I’d by a fun snack (like muesli or cinnnamon rolls or chocolate bar or Toaster’s Struedle) for that night for dinner and I always got a red bull, too. Then I planned to do another workout (for some reason I envisioned the hot springs trails or the track in SB, but realized that workout could be surfing or anything or eliptical training or anyting) and then have dinner iwth that fun snack! That could really keep me going! The last time I cycled thorugh this dream (cylced through it probably 3-4 times atleast) the grocery people asked me if I was going to order chinese that night. mmmm!!

This dream setup an aligning structure with a wake-up morning workout day-starter exercise routine, then class, then a SNACK the snack is essential because it’s a reward after the FUN afternoon post class workout.

So the routine went Exercise-Eat-Class-Buy-Exercise-Eat (EECBEE)

wake-up

exercise

consistent, healthy nutritius breakfast

class of some sort (like BC2 morning)

buy unique, tasty snack (okay to be sugary or slightly unhealthy –it’s a treat) and red bull

drink redbull

2nd type of workout ONLY FUN!! (sex, surfing, hikes, sprints, elipticals, swims, gym class like spin or yoga probably not though, another lifting session, tennis, basketball, soccer, another run, suntan by pool)

Have snack with fun dinner!

Meaning: this dream was providing me with GREAT, helpful didactic USEFUL structure!! During LPHS my “eating treats” was SOOO out of whack! I ate a cinnamon bun every morning, that unhealthy treat should be rare and at te end of teh day as a rwarrd not the beginning. During LPHS my day routine had NO, ZERO, logic to it. I’d eat a cinnamon bun, not tal most of hte day, go home, eat a packet of cookies because I’d be starving, then come track time, I had MASSIVE diarrhea from teh worst eating habits!!

Than god for SPTC and mexico, which TRULY flushed out my digestive system and reacquainted me with my soul. Then Acting corps (and consistent workouts and lifting during that) DEFINITELY reacquainted me with my healthy, now muscular!, body. Sweet!!

Man If I could do that!!! If I could do that??!!!! My day would be SOO jam-packed and full with meaning and progress and motivation if I could do that. But it woudl be time-consuming. I couldn’t do “denny-like” excursions or else it might cut into 2nd workout. I guess I could do the fun rand om 2nd workout after a dinner if I dine with friends, but wht would that routine do for me. It would give me the same awesome strength and endurance I have now (with the morning workout), consistency emotionally, physically, digestively, and intellectually to my day, a fun treat to look for ward to. 2x workouts which means definitely new muscle growth!! Keeping myself happy. I might feel doglike with tetreats but that won’t happen, plus I feel wandering and desperate if I keep “yearing for people’ dude could you imagine if I did that routine 5 days/week untill BC2 startign this sunday?!! Sunday to thursday?? That would be INSANELY awesome.

WHY Do it?

I’d have so much GRACE Structure and ease to my life.

My 2nd workout could be another run then chill by the pool.

Best of all, Iwouldn’t do bars AT ALL,

I wouldn’t expect to meet babes and put a ton of weight onto that

and would have tons of things to look forward to, personlally challenges, achievemetns, milestones, and accomplishments that ensure health, progress and stabilizing great fun momentum for ME with or without people so I wouldn’t be relying on anything unreliable!

I’d create reliability guarantees with myself being able to stick to such a fulfilling routie. I’d soak up the summer, be out and about, truly get to know my calabasas home area, enjoy the pool, get a tan.

It would be HEAVEN! I should do that EECBEE routine!

It’s also physiologically PERFECTLY balaned becaue each exercise immediately precedes a eating nourishment which is best for motivation and for replenishing bodily needs. Sweet!

How to do it

Wow, I should put this in the calendar PLANNED out to try to do it. Instead of a 3 hour bc2 I’ll scedule 3 hours of productive “personal writing, math, focus, work productivity time” awesome!!

One day at a time.

REALLY think about the NEXT day ONLY the day before, the night before, thin about what I’ll need one pair of exercise clothes and one pair of day clothes MINIMUM (possibly 2 exercise clothes sets).

Remember how valuable, how aligning, this would make my day.

With this routine I would have ZERO problem throwing in an audition or 2 during the day because I would be already sOO aligned and in tune!!

7:42 PM

May 4, 2008

DreamDream SWEET!! Awesome dream. Dreamt at one point I was myself, but that person was Heath Ledger and that I was dating making out with, my girlfriend,who was Scarlett Johannssen. holy wow. what an awesome career, gf, fantasy dream! Could be one of the coolest dreams I’ve ever had. My dreams rarely entail and behold such awesome, successful, attractive peole. Sweet! Okay startsrs. This was as LONG ream

water canal

The first part of the dream was like a seperate dream. I dreamt I was in this dark, mildewy wattery labyrinth canal. Cleo and I were trying to sneak off to do something. We were looking around with people but i had to dive in this labyrth canal stretches, segments at some time to avoid being seen. We were trying to get out somewhere or somethig. I think there were some mootor boat or jetski things, like last cruisade indiana jones, I think there was some kind of shark, too.

talways grinding motion look

whenever I looked at scarlett’s character she was playful like Jacqui gaines, and always gave me this “half playful half dead serious” grinding motion look (that she wanted to have sex

tent beach — wjierd indiana jones tent

next we’re on this beach. somewhat private. We had one of thoe huge tents, wind flapping the curtain-doorway, like a “royal tent from ancient china” but all White. Finally we kissed or switched into passionate mode and she was in doggystyle position and I was in top of her, we were fully clothed and not “having sex”, but making out and she had the sexiest, most aggressive look on her face, and pulled me in with her arm (this dream was AWESOME!!) dry sex on beach with scarlett! yeow! sweet! She REALLy wanted me, really wanted to go doggystyle (reminiscient of jacqui sex?) then I interrupted it and said something about getting the kid (our daughter) to practice (hey that’s like heath) or taking care of her.

spiral swing kick to golf cart glass

It was here that I kind of realized that I WAS heath. The POV switched to first person when before it had been heath and scarlett on the beach in the tent. When she left to what I though was take this kid (our kid?) somewhere, she really hopped on a golf cart for a tennis lesson. I caught up wtih her and did this angry (sexual aggression?) jump kick to the golf cart glass, but it was unbreakable. It turned out to be just joking. She laughed, but she had morphed into kate shostack from latin with Amanda Harlib’s voice. She took one sweatershirt off and had cleavage going in the golf cart. I think I hopped in the golf cart, tehn I woke up.

Themes keys

Indiana Joens, Scarlett Johanssen, One Woman (scarlett morphing to kate, amanda’s voice, previously “cleo”?, resembling jacqui’s playful mannerisms), connection to heath. awesome cool people.

Again, reoccurring theme of Beach, sharks!!

Also I looked at some pictures of scarlett and she like IS every woman. pamela, playful, fun jacqui-like (posibly, obviously, have no idea), graceful, sexy briana, maggie, i dont’ know like everyone woman.

one and the same!

Michael Caine as alfred is PERFECT butler. Also heath REALLY looked like heath put (and he did — he locked himself up in a london apartment working on joker voices) MASSIVE MASSIVE practice and technique into joker. he had so many sinister-insane looks, like at the table, teh mannerism’s look highly deranged, diferent person, GREAT technique and job!! wow. impressive. so glad they ditched katie home.s what is cruise doing with her? She’s so lame, poor actress, nobody, snobby. I’m so glad maggie gyllenhaal is filling in as rachel dawes. She’s much more attractive, graceful, and a great actress. I loved her (with her bro) in Donnie darko.

Scarlett. Yeow. SHE is hot. She’s my age. She’ll probabl be married in a year or two. sad. she’s a GREAT actress, too!

1:53 AM

May 7, 2008

Sleep — Dreamream WEIRD dream!! Dreamt I was in the chicago basement. I did something that impressed TMK. He was riding around his bike in the basement and half-jokingly, half-serious kept saying to mom. I really like him. I like him. I really really like him. He is our Salllllvaaaaation!” Kind of joking, kind of serious. I had just seen Man without a Face. A GREAT mentor-protege movie, so that could have impacted it. Thomas could have been like that Norstad sort of. Brought in ties of mom liking me now, somethign that feels rewarding and great!! Maybe I shoould go visit them??!

11:53 PM

May 9, 2008

Dreamt was at Cityday. Was carrying those odd red lunch trays that were characteristic at latin but these were brigher. At the end of hte dream Zach Fellars tried to ridicule and embarass me (it didn’t work) by saying that “we don’t want to talk to you, john called all of our phones multiple times but we don’t wat to talk to you.”) it was a lie because I hadn’t called certain people in years. There was something about all of us 1998 group being so old their around the young kids.

Issues: fear of rejection; Jame K telling me trying to, falsely and invalidly of unpopularity.

We were just carrying lunch trayson the railing.

10:25 PM

May 10, 2008

DreamDream Dreamt I had this race in michigan with Dad, Thoams, and I. Dad wore his khaki shorts, but did well. We thought thomas didn’t do well but he got “17:70” which makes no sense, but that was fast apparently. It was all around the michigan property.

Then in chicago. I was on mom and dad’s bed watching TV and munchign on this salmon-shripm-stirfry I worked so hard to cook. Aron, shreve, jack came up and talke to me about thomas’s prom date and girls and they asked me what Id’d do to woo cleo and I said always talk and communicate, she whips people as a dominatorix so Iwouldn’t try to be seductive or anythign, that’s what she does most of the time. So I’d just be funny and talk to her abou wanting to try or experiment with different things.

Then shreve started eating all my shrimp and I got pissed.

1:07 PM

May 16, 2008

DreamDReam

Amandao kept fondling her legs as she fell onto me. Was in some crash bandicoot-like game

9:52 AM

May 20, 2008

DreamDream Dreamt I was in the car and drove to a place like Nicky Smiths. Beah was there. Something about a motorcycle. The last I remember was a Windshield deluxe cover with zipper peepholes.

Themes, SMiths (angela — leah). Living out of car? Transportation.

I woke up and IMMEDIATELY did pushups — FELT GREAT!! Then felt groggy, ahd 4 hours os leep, but took a COLD shower. Drank a ton of water, brushed teeth. I actually did a wake-up routine in the morning. It felt awesome! It felt so alive and centered!!! Wow! Sweet!

9:27 AM

May 21, 2008

DreamDream

Dreamt Justin and Bret were driving I was in backseat but it was like I was watching a movie of tehm and not really there. They went to this old random town, played hookey from school, and it was some amusement park carnival with like this crazy ride. Jeff zheng was therer I think. I think justin and bret got on a little floating log boat, and then jeff and I were giong to go on one. But I wanted to go in the 1st boat for hte loag ride then a 2nd boat for another ride. At the end of this ride you had to go through this odd obstacle course of like strings and bars and junk.  It was timed and only one person went through it. I was reluctant to get on the log ride water part. Then we passed a (back in t car) red circular hospital tnat bret and justin both cursed because apparently they like abducted justin psychiatrically and did bad things to him. Not sure of the people, but that stuff was in teh dream.

3:10 PM

May 24, 2008

3:10 PM

May 24, 2008

Sleep –DreamDream VERY specific cool COOL dream!! I dreamt I met harrison ford. I was in a place that felt like a huge airport. he was there signing autographs but only a few people at a time like 2 sets. I had tons of odd pamphlets and slips of paper and couldn’t decide what for him to sign. I got close and he grabbed the odd purple cltoh/handkerchief thing that I had in my ear-plugs case and he signed that long, something like auditions or something. I don’t think there was talking.

INSIGHTS second celebrity role-model dream!! 1st it was jim carrey and we shook hands like friends .. then harrison and the dream I think wanted to be like friends, but he was celeb and I was fan.

7:04 PM

May 29, 2008

REALLY Cool DREAM!! Dreamt Just in Timberlake gave me advice. he said if you have support from kids and fans taht are kids, you can’t not be successful, basically. GREAT wisdom. The dream was like 3rd person POVwatching timberlake but close. Cameron diaz ran up to him and jumped on him while he was on his bike and he showed me his calednar. THAT is what I need. He just had the month laid out and like one big thing per day. like recording xyz studios mon tue wed. then some show thurs. then one other thing the next day. that’s SOOO awesome becaus ehe knows what to focus on. One huge thing I loved abou the cruises was the schedule was all planned out and you could not go or go to everything and no one would get mad at you!! THAT WAS GREAT. that freedom and you could just scan the schedule and if you wanted to do bingo or whatever,you coudl go. that was great. I MUST focus on calendar.

10:53 PM

May 30, 2008

Dreamdream — Dreamt I was kissing maya (or some phillipino woman) and we both kept talking about how good it felt kissing each other. VERY warm, fun, cuddly alive, intimate. Flash to 428. James K says somethign going down the 3rd floor stairs, I throw a blue lunchbox at him and he falls down the stairs. He looked paralyzed at the base of the staircase. I got scared his neck was broken. Then flahs to a big 2-3 story house on some propoerty. It was like my house but it felt lke there was some reality show hosted there, but people were doing calisthetics and walking around their to make me feel like it was my home. ONe woman kept takign about sex in different placs. Odd themese,s intimacy, owning hosue, difficltli wht bro.

12:28 AM

June 9, 2008

DreamDream

Dreamt something about maren havin a home.. she had the apartment with the view of california long horizno and seascape/ sunset view (beauitful). she invited me and bio fam over for dinner adn we cooked. earlier we wento some other dinner party thing at my place which was n’t as fun, during that she had a BF and kept mentioning that I was in chi during acting class and had stayed at that otehr apartment , but I was in CA. Earlier we were at this place (CA>?) and had another dinner paarty. Big emphasiss on plates. I stayed in maren’s loft during some kind of summer half-block. It was a pointed ceiling loft, most epic was the view, it looked like sunsets onothr planet, kind of dreary/weird though, like you WER on the moon with city clutter or something. The feeling here was BARREN and SMOGGY, with a scenic view. for some reason it felt like people had this kind of arranged marriage thing and I wassupposed to get htiched with maren? VERY weird it was like a dinner after a funeral or something almost.

Earlier in dream was CRAZY. Something about flashing back in time and then time freezing going up a stair case i think beth was there, but tim would freeze and you’d have to catch up to it r people would it was a scary dream, VERY scary, like sets of three people would appear and reappear and you’d go up the same stairs but you wre different and they were differet each time, then something about mashing, gnashing teeth popped in my mind recalling it. Weird dream! The feeling here was monotonous but scary and eeeire. SCARY.

Then afterwards I got scard. I actually felt scared at night. I had never felt that in a LONG time.

Then i started to realize that all the 24 or so years of identity in chicago was “being erased”, well all the unimportant non-identity stuff was, wit that account, and I TRULY felt california. This was an amazing feeling. A very “californian feeling”. Wow. to what Do i attribute this?

Learning about credit (a BIG life solidification thing) getting anwers to TONs of bank questions I’ve had

Doing math . Organization my mind (too much reading is just taking a dump o nyour mind) Math is cleansing, purifing, and giving yourmind a healhty workout.

Connections happening with seeing the ca outside, all of that awesomeness.

I feel incredibly grateful. I’ve NEVER felt this befor, like beign at every place and the only thing exists is time. It’s an amazingly expansive and liberating feeling. I feel like all the places I’ve liked or parts of them are present here, shuffling through my experience here like a deck of cards. It’s magical. It’s the way life is supposed to be live, color, magic, aliveness!! Wow this rocks.

Additionally sayig no and not interacting with bio fam opened all these doors because I could focus on cool stuff I love.

Now I’m learning and writing applescript!! God, that’s stuff I’ve put on hold since I was 12. I’ve wanted to do applescript for 12 years!! I feel OVERJOYED focusing on math, applescript, and credit score. YES credit score!!! That’s reducign worry so my brain thinks of other fun things other tha money b/c I have confidence I’ll make money!!!

JEEZ!!

I just feel

I woke up when I started do a calculation for the amount you get in a lottery pay-off based on salary, per month.

I attribute this wild dreamscape to looking at old photos ,but again the organization of math.

I was up for 22 hours!!

1:29 PM

June 20, 2008

Dreamt was at beah’s house. accidentally sat in he chair in the corner I could see everything from the angle. I asked wait who’s chair is this and learned it was beah’s so Iagave it back to her and fixed the metal magnet thing on the back. Then wandered into the kitchen and saw cups of reese’s peanut butter cups. I leanred mark whalbrg was born in 1982, so I told jame we had to get on theacting thing, if we had his succcess 2 years from now, that would be hug. Then flahsed to swingset in OR. I was skinny and dad was slow b/c of weight but felt okay. flash to city. miguel was antagonist chasing after this one girl. He got on one bus, I got on another and she got on my bus and she kissed me , i acted al goofy and knee buckled jokingly to flirt bt she knew that and fun.

3:52 PM

June 21, 2008

DreamDream. Dreamt alexa was in the dream she helped me with something like set a good habit.

1:46 PM

June 23, 2008

Sleep DreamDream Dreamt I invited 2 girls up to michigian and just in was there. We went to hte field to camp and set up tents out but there was garden vegetable bplants wiht massive like 3 inch by 2-3 ft caterpillars living in the plants, I cut a branch and the caterpillar crawled out. Next we might till be in micghigan bu oon a deck that could be a boat at sea. with a round conversation of people, robin dunn and ari are there. They pass around a join wtht ht10-15 people I take a light hit hoping it will help me with my comedy and then get back to computer wr.. Then the same pow-wow circle was in the loft or some inside area.

July 8, 2008

7:36 AM

DreamDream Dreamt kira, tom fort, jimmy, and I got let off from a car on some jungle trail hiking to go surfing. Tom noticed my necklace had a dangerous hook in it s oI carefully removed that and then there was some food (like burger or sausage) attached on the end of it that was disgusting but jimmy ate it. We trampled through the jungle forest stepping on the remains of large shar or tuna that poachers had left. Kira said shw as going to practice first before meeting up with us. We would all practice alone and surf together.

July 24, 2008

12:44 PM

Wow! FUN dream. All fun stuff!! Big milk theme (no doubtedly from WoW’s cold glass of milk restoring mana). I was in a comedy club and was a bout to perfomr or just had performed. I was really lit up, on fire like I was as sophmore at latin wearinga collared shirt. Best of all there was this 40 year-oldish woman with huge boobs wearing a greyish shirt, brunette, who looked like a 40 year-old alexa who kept putting her arm around me and fiddling with my necklace and joking. But I think we new each other from some other event like someone’s wedding? no some fancy party. Then she said something about playing along, no, something about how putting her arm around me leads to something (sex, implid). Tehre was also some white hen pantry stop with some people. But the comedy store cuddlign with the huge boobed woman who kept hitting on me, just rocked. Crazy, play with youth, pony up with older women. The woman was definitely hotter than kira-alexa combined.

July 26, 2008

3:03 PM

DreamDream

Dreamt I ran into the Beatles. All 4 of them, just hanging out somewhere. Had dinner with htem I think. Then few people like parents beleived I had met them. one of them looked ausraian. then I saw billy Davis (jimmy’s bro) give a chess lesson and then played a guy and won. He said he was about 3400 and hte dude was 3300 (impossible b/c of s max 2800 raiting). he taunted me saying he could beat me, my friends and my family. So I played him in chesss. I was black. the game was as immersive as a wow he attacked and I defended then he attacked on the othe side of the board and looked like a tauren. Then jimmy davis and peter saw I could win and started to distract me (I think) jimmy said things like “That was a great independent study of Vegetarianism” for my days off which weren’t Ises.

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July 29, 2008

7:09 PM

Shark or alligator on a wave and whenever it went I surfed after it. Then Ms. Doer-fitzpatrick got sick from eating herbs but then read a book on how to find the right ones and had like blueberry juice and other herb food from the wilderness. WEIRD!

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August 3, 2008

8:58 PM

dreamdream dreamt something about saying goodbye to people. back in chicago visited some old restaurant place with beth and susan and soemthign about the door way a shelf on it of stuff.

dd

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August 5, 2008

1:44 AM

Dreamt I did laps around the house in michigan. Huge emphasis on the planted tree at the end of the path, like it was a heath ledger memorial. I had a fat butt and emphasis on that. Then there was something with beah’s house

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August 5, 2008

7:58 PM

Really long cnvoluted dream. I was in chicago with a baby kitten, philleas. Darcy bonner and I hung out and did something (basketball?). The kitten had like alien teeth but always followed me when I called it (like a dog). There was also something big with math, too. Some kind of ccds reunion thing.

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August 8, 2008

6:01 PM

dreamdream

drove or someoen dropped me off at Gloria martinez’s house, but it was on the beach (prob. in californa) I went for a run through a parking lot there. and then gloria went looking for me. and drove me back home to some city area (la/chi/ who knows ,probl la!) then went on a date with i think molly from old next door (I think thomas tagged along) felt really refreshed after the run. I think we go icecreaem

Asked mom what happed on someone’s birth like my and my bro’s or something for autobiography researc hand she got cold adn icyand started talking about he birth of jesus christ.

Was in home depot with biol fam. everyone bought somehing except me. I decided to throw in a stpladder in the last minute (forreaching stuff above fridgE) and got in the checkout line and ran into EVa sonsnowska and Venetta. They were playing characters Argus and Lingus for a play and were buying a “prop” tha was female mouth (for blowjob masturbation). Then in the next line I ran into Ms. Hardegan . she couldn’t figure out what cashback meant so I told her it just meant “do you want a 20” I told I ran into argus and lingus and she said “that’s rigth” and then said “do you want me to be gentle with your stars,john?” I didn’t know how to respond, and wanted to say something like “gentle is good, but challenge is okay” but had no idea why she asked me that.

odd themes: drama and sex; gloria and CA, mom, icy, overly catholic, running refreshed.

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August 8, 2008

11:15 PM

DreamDream dreamt went shopping for a dog with bio fam. reall colorful place. found three lassie-terrier’s each for $300. d din’t buy but looked good. (nota running, active dog)

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August 11, 2008

3:44 AM

Disturbing dream Dreamt I kept vomiting in a toilet that was overflowing with stale crunchy angel hair pasta. my mother susa was making me vomit. there was emphasis on the puke. Gloria popped up, kind of convinced me my parents were bad influence.

I remember glorai (in real life) saying jonny”s an actor!

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August 12, 2008

11:34 AM

One of the most lengthy crazy dreams I’ve ever had.

My dad and I were driving to some place (like a concert?). It was a flash flood, we cut through a grass field. I think a cop starting chasing after us. then we flipped over or something. Just remember tons of water and driving on grass.

I had gone back to CC to look for housing to relive some college life or something (but I relized CC was a more work, less party school).

Then it flahed to CC’s soccer field. there was some girl realy drunk on the sidelines. she fell off a stool and hurt her knee and then said for me to “kiss it” (her knee) but she flsashed her vagina at me at teh same time. so we went behin the stadium risers and had wild sex (a ot of vagina emphasis). Bizarre how much emphasis was on the women being like meat or fish, with the vagina, like it was just pure flesh and not a person, like having sex with meat with an orifice. really weird, but hot.

Thenthere was some scene with Justin’s friends talking about their favoriate music album. I said paul’s botique (and they agreed it was th e best sellingalbum ever) we were atonished at how many good songs were on teh same album. One dude said “soundgarden does BNL” which was weird. Then someone had to go and I wrote on a dart board with a dart that I would see them later? woah

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August 19, 2008

6:54 PM

Dreamt I had sex with jen lester from acting corps. so weird. Went to this basement with a group and itwas like an instance raid and jen was doing paperwork in the corner and stayed quiet for fear of us noticing her. then I end up hooking up iwith her doing intense spanking stuff. I was grinind the bed too I realized. weird. (like first wet dream thing). tehn other stuff happened like emily hannon, but it was like wow raid before. hah

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August 23, 2008

3:01 PM

DreamDream Dreamt matt colman woke up in some bed and did like a scene from oedipus where he gouged his eyes out (what the hell?!!!) and some other weird stuff happened to. Like fishy hugs with anna morro.

ddt

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6:31 PM

WEIRD dream. Dreamt I was in someflorida hotel place looking for something in a room with cityday people. Ellen campbell or someone like that was there. I was trying to get my swim suit on behind this coutner then I left and the chick said she liked my teeth and smiled and I realized she had on a retainer thing too. Then james and I were fighting over this bottle that I took and was playing wit. We tried to order chinese and suchi and couldnt’ decide and ordered Jia’s. Then we saw something about these dudes killing peole and some weierd cult thing and this re-enactmectment exhibit wieht 3 people who were mannikins but their eyes looked like diamonds. eweird.

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August 26, 2008

8:10 PM

Dreamt I was at latin but playing defense in an outdoor water polo practice. The goalie (one of the latin seniors, like pat or someone) gave me tips on recieving passes and such.

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September 5, 2008

10:23 AM

Dreamdream Jordan dubow, wrote him a letter conveying how much I respected him. went spelunking in some cave with a water entrance like BFD, went for run with james and thomas saw Dubow on a bike and he commented on that I “really ” rspected him.

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September 7, 2008

7:21 AM

dreamt something about matt colman having a wedding and I having a michigan reunion party o nth same weekend. kira said she thougt I’d go to MI a few days early, friday, sat, or sun, and write.

9/25/2008

dreamt I took a train from beah’s house after mom made a photo album with all these weird pictures of me. then got off train in LA and there were all these bums. and then I was like woah! never been here at this time of night kind of nice! and one bum was like “hey it’s bob dylan” to me. and I said “me” ? and he said yeah it’s bob dylan. that was kind of strange. then I ran into some lower classmen like alice mathias and gave her a hug and became overly conscious because their were under classmen and I felt I had to show off, but realized it ws hightech or something.

dreamt again. dreamt I kept looking around for a present for mom. and flashed some poster that said “I see god” which was all this music stuff supposedly

dreamdream

dreamt I was in MI repairing for a party. Nick snick. REgenbergs. Some smiths. people with a bunch of cats. Whilte cats. tdk and I got into a fight. about him not giving me money. guests came. we calmed down.

before that a martial arts documentary I was trying to make a guy did a wall flip or something

9/29/2008

dreamdream

had sex with meg grunewald (doggy style. she was really hot). the was playing soccer in park in Chicago an had to play on side of field. and a lot of babes trying to get after me so that was fun. Maren and other gilrs were trying to woo me or something. I turned off their advances and went for older women.

thomas and I were kicking around soccer ball. saw tal madanes who went swimming and we were like we want to go swimming so we went. key notes was the water from people was gloing and really pretty colorful. seemed like when I was young and killed the pigion. colorful or something.

9/30/2008

DreamDream

dreamt about meg grunewald again. she was really hot. lost a lot of weight. we went on a date. she showed me a baby picture of her when she was 4’6 and she was a lot less or shoerter. We ate smoother (like silver chairs) . felt good. talked about good stuff. over cafeteria food or something.

(WEIRD! I just realized I could’ve “done” all that if I’d done a different path! couldn’ve done anything in dreams if done different path. I’m glad those dreams are dreams and that I didn’t have a “fix me help me with acting” bs date with meg! lol

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date uncertain

felt REALLy good after tons of pushups and then eating great salmon before bed.

Dreamdream REALLY wild

yyrgbygg

dreamt was thinking about charlie alva and went to raft at casino club and learned that he had died that morning while eating a achicken avacado sandwich in the raft;(. then I went to some dinner party of k&a people. We all had to sit on these really high tipsy chairs. IT was a sandwich restaurant, but really gourmet. I tried to get the waiter to explain the sandwiches but and order tuba but it didnt’ get a cross. they put like juice or somthign on the center of the sandwich and cooked it, but he didn’t mention that. Then while sitting on these high stools I was about to tip off so I had to frmly put my arm on this atttractive NICE-looing blonde (eeryoe was all dressed up in semi-fancy clothes too) she smiledat me and we flirted a bit . Then the restaurant switched to city day people and Bret diskin was there and ended up retelling some story where he reenacted getting up on a rickety ladder with smeoen holding the metal single piece ladder. he swayed back and forth and then the ladder’s bade flipped out and he just plummedtted down really hurt, when he tried to stand up he had pissed his pants and feinted back but Tom fort caught him. weird!!!

themes: swaying seats, swaying ladders, unstable obects basically, and fun times with as usual city day.

Things

sierra montains

yosemite

lll

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10/2/2008

DreamDream

dreamt was with james trying to get a bus back to latin or something. hilary august popped up and she kept kissing my cheek and it felt really really good. This guy kept spitting when he talked. she kissed me and it felt really good. she told me to tell him lightly that he was spitting to much. So I told him that actors spit and told him lightly. she gave me an awesome kiss and we made out. I remembered how much I missed her and how much I liked (like) her. whatever.

then really weird episode in 428 and moo had a larger blackspot and I saw a missing tail and on the other cat there was some other cat with a larger black spot. weird. freaky.

10/7/2008

dreamdream

dreamt I saw mickey fisher tell me something (not unlike anna child mentioned with cross country) along the lines of “you don’t really have to go in there ( to this store). I was in a store and lost my blue plaid shirt, my white shirt, and got my iphone and bag locked in a locker. so i talked to store manager and was really pissed. then the store locked up and I was chasing after the manager. something about brad pitt. the manager was talking on his phone to ben samuel’s. ben affirmed to him that all the women would be after the manager at this oparty. it got late and the manager left me and cut off in a cab.

Significance. This dream resembled going back to chicago in nov 2006. Chicago was the “store” that scattered and lost a lot of my belonggings and really pissed me off. No one paid a ttention to me and it was painful and aggravating. Cool realizations!

10/13/2008

dreamdream

dreamt something about ms. campbell. dreamt I had a huge purple dufffel bag of my stuff on a bus (some kind of cccds field trip)? I thought the bus would explode and was worried but it ddidn’t then flash to 428 where mom made a necklace out of beads for ellie smith. weird!

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October 19, 2008

ms hardetgan was doing blocking forscript. ccds people were there like drew faseas or something. the nflashed to a cruise boat where they pulled body out of a beacon or canister thing and it ended up in the alligator area and I was down ther with kira or tina fey. Then they swam upriver, then I started to run away and I had sandals on, was like wait should have shoes on, but I wanted to go for ar run, then saw carlin thomas. and said something a bout snuffleupagus. she took me to bnl concert. like having fun around women, man. fun cool people. had been obsessed with disguating slimy idiot girl and not any more. Drew faseas was ther or something. crazy.

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October 17, 2008

1:17 AM

dreamdream dreamt I was with these three women/girls. we kept hopping around to shops or something like coffee shop and making out (all 4 of us) in really public places. GREAT dream! GREAT dream.

itnermittent racial etiquette, then chuck norris, then a trainer location, then a LFG, then homey, pal, buddy banter…ah brilliant sheer brilliant. lol. and guild add hehe

noob talk

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October 21, 2008

@ CCDS, minging with class above me. David Sigman, Max parsons, Drew faseas. Then saw the less advanced math group and it was like math from cc, james krueger and he had an earring on. I was talking with MAx berry about football (and was doing lifecoaching with him) and asked if he makes as many goals in soccer as football. insinuating that he was a more speed and agility guy and made better for soccer, while football was not his thing strength nad power. Basketball and soccer a lot more his game. it was in CCDS like upper class math or science room. weird. Ther was huge part of dream where Dr. shcultz made everyone pasta, and sigman was giving lecture-assignment on it. I ate all the string pasta, then he put another plate of tube pasta in front of us and no one ate it. The 2nd was like the “reward” was doing the test of eating the first place. really weird.

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11/12/08

Dreamt was in some wildernessish house. tdk had us all wave at the sky or do some weird chant crap. a thundercloud came then we all blacked out, next I know the stupid red volvo was gone and it came back with ssk or someone else driving it but it was changed, like bizarro. kept looking at people and seeing a devil demon, pointy-eared convulsing horror, animal scary morph thing.

damn I hate dreams that involve bio-fam losers. lol

no more of that. hehe.

then fantasized about having a different big-boobed woman in costa rica EVERY NIGHT.!!!!

teron

Cauldron of Major Shadow Protection ?

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November 1, 2008

dreamt papa’s car was being auctioned off and it kept going for a different price. REally weird!

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11/6

dreamt had pictures of alexa hs cleavage. james k and I were toned and weren’t for a run in oregon. then remembed alexa’s handjob to bob and how she lcawed at my pants.

11/7

dreamdream dreamt was in a big swimming pool like casino club some lane lines were very narrow and cramped. I went to the far right with no lane lines. meanwhile someone like cristophe lagrange or something needed money and kept betting and lost it in gambling. Justin L loaned him like 1000 something dollars. Then I burst into tears in 130 kitchen about not having money to dad and he just watched me snacking on things like watchin g a movie saying “really”

BL — money is a big thing in my life. swimming is big. tdk isn’t a help.

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Thursday, December 25, 2008

05 : 40

Long series of WEIRD dreams.

1. Dreamt Vaghn Lacallade and other moms played soccer, vaughn was like the head organizer captain person of this mom soccer league or something.

2. Dreamt I rollberbladed around the CCDS playground but it was black tarmack instead of grass in most parts. thomas mk and ryan specne were there and I did tons of cool spin moves. then I changed, but didn’t have a shirt, and carried this huge duffel bag upstairs of CCDS, saw jon levine and lame people and then went ot music class.]

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February 21, 2009

2:44 AM

elaborate dream was in Michigan playing in field or tree fort with someone like idk and andrew burke, the something hcanged and it was someone like darcy bonner and matt damon. The nflash to me running on beachside dune trail and find some kind of planet of the apes cave enclave and get some object (indiana jones like) and run out the dune trail then I’m transported to the totem pole run near lake shore drive. then prob flash back to ape thing?

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February 22, 2009

5:17 AM

wild set of dreams and thinking…first dreams dreamt was in OR papa was reallllyyyy young we had all just gotten back from working “in field or something” they all showered had cereal and looked cool. i was about to shower but someone whom I thought was cousin sara but later realized was just some chick was playing with me adn tickling me, i laughed like wild but then changed mood got fed up and tackled her in the yellow bathroom playfully noticeable featuers were she had a really fiery red (but attractive) COLORFUL face. (but caucasion).

next branched off into thinking. REALIZED maya tried to hypnotize me in lazy acres but it DIDN’T work, so that made me realize my mind has grown MUCH stronger. that’s what happened now since 2000, my MIND has grown magnificently more stronger with flinging myself into painful bad situatiosn and still getting out. My mind is stronger than most any person I know. I have a strong mind and am highly massively resilient (practically immune) to all hypnosis now COOL!!

also rememberd having fiery red eyes and glowing skin inthe surfboard shop after the energy aura class in wrigleyville (around time of going to dojo and stopping in The Alley store) and the yellow vibe of that place…hhmmmmmmmmm

I ALSO remember envisioning a dream life of giving seminars and then fucking many women etc etc blah and it being YELLOW too..

hhm yellow definitely a theme. of possibly an environment where I’m in my element. solar plexus area cooler!! or MAYBE that’s just going up chakras or something who knows but GREAT recollections I had suppressed that. GREAT to have all those memories because confusing and unpleasant at the time, all memories lead me to greater understnading of my strenghts and weaknesses and capacity..

using eye accessing cues is immensely helpful and rocking awesome!

February 3, 2009

11:05 PM

EmilyDaviuEatOut-FutureCar-Hawaii-NorthShore

Dreamt I surfed Northshore in Hawaii and waves were like 10 stories tall (taller prob) paddled out paddledinto one and then jumped off before riding it but I had the momentum of the wave, so I didnt’ die but could say I paddled out and and into a wave atleast and “surfed” northshore. I was in HAwaii and dazed and crossing the street/highway from the jungle after living there or after surfing maybe? And Emily Daviau in a red car almost hit me while crossign the road. She was teary eyed and all upset about something but relieved to see me. She gave me a lift and the car ride was WILD. it was some compact futuristic car where the top shot forward and she sat facing me with her legs around my head and I had to lean forward in the red car so naturally started eating her hout and making out like crazy. It was all tropical and north hawaii-oahu-like.

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March 2, 2009

3:19 PM

sleep ppaternes soo messed — didn’t want to wake up at 10 b/c dream felt soooo much more fun than RL. Was having really clear/vivid dream for some reason. Was in MI. Dr. Dale chiropractor showed up because I had back problems. I think it was like christmas or something. The wird thing was was that he kept waiting outside the house for like 15-30 hour long time politely waiting for someone to open the door. weird as!! Then he brought in a like flimsy foldout massage table to do the spine adjustment and said he remembered one time did it and all the vertebrae popped weird. THEN the best part of the dream was Uncle paul, lacy, ellie, aunt mary showed up and lacy or ellie was looking at somethin on 2nd floor MI house and I talked to them and then toucehd their hand we both started giggling hysterically hahah!! It was like the closest thing felt like had to a sister. Then uncle paul said they were going to the corner bakery for breakfast (that day or tomorrow or something) and I realized how awesome it is that they move around so frequently and eat out at places so frequently b/c then large places are your home and if you feel connected with like brand places (corner bakery, whatever) that are consistent ANYWHERE you can find comfortable cool “homey spot” anywhere. Anyways heralded uncle paul for that and realized he and uncle paul mary, lacy, jilli, ellie are awesome. plus swimming! lol

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April 9, 2009 — 10:20 AM

sleep dreamdream dreamt some girl who was friend I knew got dresed up in GREAT costume for some outdoor party. was sitting on bench and ha planted a eavesdropping chip in this bar owner so was listenign with a reciever something about some south american place.  Then  Igot in a batmobile liek car and drove around gotham into this haunted house liek area and saw the riddler crazy and we drove past and more weird thing s and got to the final rooom and it was full of gnomes eating cookies in piles of “sand” they wanted me to throw the cookie and the sand at them as they did that at each other (like threw it in each other’s face)! what the hell?!!  and then I discovered the sand had special microscopic “chitin” in it and I was supposed to take a scoopful of sand with me to complete the quest. WEIRD AS!!

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April 21, 2009 — 6:52 PM

sleep dreamdream Very vivid interesting peculiar dream.  dreamt was in michigan no visiting some place wiht people I didnt’ know, one guy kept looking out the window over the ocean (it was house on the beach) I like woke up and then we went to town I had a REALLY hightech camera as a present and this girl told me to unpack it from my backpack.  my mom had packed a weird disco light thing that didn’t go with the camera.  Then we went into town.  I didn’t know these people.  then somehow justin lacallaid who was exactly like or was tom cruise shows up and says hes’ wearing these orange sweatpants and sweatshirt into town so the tomcruise-justinl guy who reminded me of me too was all clear and energetic with slicked back spikey gelled hair and then we ended up in michigan after walking around town for abit and I was in the kitchen overlooking the deck and eating an orange with thomas mk and two packs of people started walking toward the basement dooor (on the deck that I could see from the kitchen ) some slovenly looking people and then the two math people form cc matt (fat asian) and joel ross but joel looked all cleared up like the dude on teh charing cross train and thoguht of darren brown.  COOL as!!!! 😀

Allusions: Math, tomcruise-justin L ; MICHIGAN, something with a camera,

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August 5, 2009
sleep dreamdream.  AGGRESSIVE Wow travel.  The whole time was verne like aggressively traveling. Felt really bad though and out of sync b/c I did something unfavorable and told stories instead of just playing without talking.  talking as verne made the game less fun because then people expected entertainment from verne.  most fun when just complete objectives as verne.  rad!
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August 9, 2009 — 6:59 PM
sleep nocen enuresis.  dang.  dreamdream dream was on a ship.  was HUGE storm. final days of it.  green water. almost spooky.  on date with someone but had to go? at the end one bald guy thought he was the jonah, but he wasn’t so he through himself overboardthe sinking ship while carrying a PIANO! LOL!!  but the ship had shipwrecked on the shore at that time so he didn’t die.  then the crew was in rows and rowas and i took tons of pictures okay cool i guess lol.
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6 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Well Done! I Like it!

Comment by glasnost

who is posting this blog?

Comment by Bob

A springboard collaboration courtesy of Verne, Philleas, JTK, and 1samerecordings, the Queen of England, The Duke of Australia, The Prince of Frogs, and a lot of recorvered Mojo.

Comment by John Kooz (Author)

when it comes to sleeping bags, polyester sleeping bags with cotton padding are the best that you can buy “

Comment by Surge Supressors :

Penelope Cruz have that classic beauty look that is very attractive ~

Comment by Corner Cabinet ·

i think that once in a while, we should do some social works too because we should help other people ~

Comment by False Nails ·




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